Ideas for affordable accommodation for DP

[Hettyispink]

DP’s finances have been badly affected by Covid - He’s Self-Employed and has lost all income and in rent arrears, awaiting his UC claim and juggling that with the SE payments. His rent in London is £1000 a month for a one bed flat, just around the corner from his Ex and their DD. We don’t live together, but he visits me in between his alternate weekends and dinners on Weds eves. He’s in the final stages of a long drawn-out divorce and so hasn’t any assets or savings at present.

He currently sees his DD alternate weekends and Weds eves for dinner (not overnight). Currently his DD refuses to come and visit me and my family in my home - we are hoping that will change after the divorce is finalised. Apart from the difficulties caused by this issue, it makes the finances all the more difficult.

Lots of background to the issue! Given that he’s been spending £1000 on rent a month, which is no longer affordable, we are looking into possible alternatives, such as renting a room / buying a boat, static home or even a camper van so he can travel up to London to carry on with Weds eves without having to rent a whole property in an expensive area.

Any ideas / experiences of this?

sparerooms

Good website for finding rooms and house shares, but you may have to careful about dc visiting dp in this situation.

Can he find a flat further out of London?

Boats in London are actually quite expensive, I believe.

Where would he keep the camper van?

In future it might be possible for us to live together (I live 2 hours from London) and for DD to visit us at weekends. That would make things far easier and more affordable. Parking in London would need to be sussed out.

A camper van could be kept at ours and driven up on a Weds pm. We’ve thought about having meals out but he wants to be with her for a whole evening after school, watch TV, do homework etc.

Boats seem to be about 28K upwards without mooring fees. Living further out doesn’t make much sense as it’s the wrong side of London.

Also wondering about Air BnB? Making a regular booking with someone locally.

Would it not be very cold in a camper van overnight in the middle of December? Winter is coming.

@Elieza DD doesn’t stay overnight on a Weds. I think some vans are better than others. Some have heating.

A few things.. is ge eligible for self employment grant. The second grant needs to be applied for by 19th October..

Secondly depending on what industry he is in can he look for a temporary job? If he has no income now with numbers rising it us unlikely to change soon.

He can get an advance on uc and may be worse off long term.

Try searching on rental websites (spareroom etc.) for people looking for lodgers. Being a lodger tends to be cheaper as you're in a slightly inferior position than being a housemate - as you are living with landlord so less claim on the communal areas etc. He could also try being a property guardian as this is cheaper as well, although your rights are a bit rubbish and you can he asked to leave quicker than in a traditional rental property. Neither are fantastic options but could be a good stopgap and they're the only ways I can think of to live in London cheaply (apart from getting a highly unusual good deal from a not bothered landlord which does happen occasionally!)

@Starlightstarbright1 YES to all those points. He’s getting the SE grant, applied for UC and used a £1000 advance to pay off some (not all) of the rent arrears. Still things are just not affordable. He’s applying for jobs but found nothing yet. Times are just very hard and he’ll eventually be evicted.

If he could find a room to rent once a week or even just the use of a kitchen and living room with the right person / family it could work. He wouldn’t even need to stay overnight - DD doesn’t sleep there on Weds eves.

I was just looking at hotel bookings - but even a Premier Inn is still £75 a night midweek, and a waste as he doesn’t actually need to sleep there.

Really hoping there’s someone out there on Mumsnet experiencing a similar issue who can advise.

Sorry op - I'm a bit confused as to where he's going to spend the alternate weekends if he gives up his flat? Have I missed something?

@Magda72 we’d be living together

The point is that things will probably have to change. Money simply doesn’t allow the current situation to continue indefinitely. We are trying to figure out what to do so that he can still spend time with his DD on Weds eves. Weekends she’s just going to have to spend time with all of us. I currently have no idea how we get from A to B.

Weekends she’s just going to have to spend time with all of us.

Well, no not really. Alternatively, she spends time with none of you. Dad included.

Fact is - if the landlord doesn’t get paid and manages eventually to evict him - he’s homeless. He cannot afford to live nearby on UC. It’s an expensive area.

£1000pm is expensive and he clearly needs to move but you can't force her to spend time with you and you risk her not seeing her Dad at all. Is she likely to change her mind after the divorce? My kids don't see their Dad's gf and ex goes along with this because he knows they'll vote with their feet.

She has said that she’ll see us once he’s actually divorced and knows the current situation isn’t right. It’s basically because of her Mum.

Why don’t your kids see his GF @mediumperiperi ?

Ultimately he does need to work on bringing her around to spending time with you, emotionally. I understand that she has misgivings but a child can't force their parent to pay for the living space of their choosing. If her dad is moving in with his partner because that is his life situation then the priority needs to be encouraging her to understand and make peace with that.

Wouldn't it be easier just to take her out in a Wednesday? Admittedly I live in a cheap part of the country, but trampoline park with meal deal / normal park and McDonalds / swimming followed by chippy tea from now until Christmas seems a lot cheaper than paying for a camper van. Then Saturday night in a hotel? Presumably that part is more than the £30 it would be round here, but he could maybe find air bnbs? If you think he'll be divorced by Christmas then it doesn't seem worth funding a £28k boat.
It may be that he needs to change the contact arrangements, eg if his current weekend with her is quite short, make it 3pm Friday to 9 am Monday and ditch the midweek, and add in some extra days in the holidays (unless they are already 50:50). He is unlikely to be able to travel in to see her in a Wednesday once he gets a job.

I'd say that he's unlikely to get anywhere for less than £75.
Id say his options are :
1 ask ex if she can facilitate contsct at hers (unlikely)
2 find a library and quiet (cheap) cafe whilst we're not in full on lockdown
3 find a houseshare to rent permanently at less cost, means he's local and can facilitate contact regardless of next Job, whereas he's unlikely to maintain the Wednesday contsct if reemployed. And if lived with you, unless you're also eligible for benefits, he'd likely lose them, so you'd be paying for him to live and visit his child....
4 live in a mobile home or static caravan as are often cheaper, but I imagine rare in London.... Mobile homes are expensive to run, plus insurance and maintenance, so in honesty of he was moving to you a motorbike would be cheapest and then access local amenities to the child.
Ultimately, he's going to need to speak to.Someone re the financial situation, stepchange and the contact situation as if living with you the midweek isn't sustainable.