To keep my distance when they stay?

[GoldieFoo]

Currently pregnant, third tri, bit of a miracle pregnancy really, we never thought it would happen and so I'm really anxious!

SC have been back at school about 2 weeks and we've already had a house full of a terrible cold which I caught and absolutely floored me.

We've now been informed that there have been positive cases of CV in the kids school and that particular bubble has been sent home but the school isn't closing although we think it's probably only a matter of time as a couple of others in the nearby area have closed due to the same thing.

I probably am being too over cautious but AIBU to just keep my distance for a little bit when they stay? I don't care if DH wants to say I'm not feeling well or whatever and that's why I'm spending most of my time upstairs.

If they were your children would you avoid them at home?

How old are the children? Could you explain to them?

No I don't think you're unreasonable but how will you then avoid your DH who will have had contact with them?

I think if I was you they would be staying away until you have given birth

@fabulous40s

If they were your children would you avoid them at home?

Frankly, that's a ridiculous question. First, she's not their mother, so no need to guilt-trip OP with a fictional scenario, and second, yes, you definitely should avoid even your own children, considering that they have a parent who can take care of them (or at least wear a mask at home, etc.) to protect their sibling. We still don't know what the exact risks are to foetuses, but we do know that Covid-19 can cause clotting problems, which would definitely be an issue, and potentially life-threatening for both their sibling and you.

I get the thinking but at the end of the day, that's a fictional situation, they aren't my children, I'm not responsible for their care when they are here, DH is and is still perfectly available to do whatever they need. It doesn't mean I dislike them or whatever it is people will try and say but saying 'what if they were your kids' is a bit of a moot point, because they aren't.

And even if they were, if I had genuine concerns, I would expect DH to take over majority parenting whilst I was pregnant so we could ensure the safety of our unborn child as well.

I've already been really ill once since they've been back at school. I understand that is par for the course and I'm not bothered about bog standard colds but yes, I am nervous about getting something like CV when heavily pregnant and knowing that there have already been confirmed cases as their school worries me.

I don't want to say they can't come at all so I'm trying to limit my own exposure whilst still letting DH get on with his time.

If they were your children would you avoid them at home?

What an absolutely ridiculous thing to say.

YANBU OP, but how will you avoid exposure to your husband? We will be postponing my SS's visit if he or any of us have cold symptoms, and we certainly would be if there were confirmed Covid cases in his school or our DDs nursery simultaneously. Is that not something that could be considered?

YANBU OP, but how will you avoid exposure to your husband?

I am not sure yet. I've spoken to DH today and he said we'll have a chat when he gets home so I guess we need to figure out the best and safest way forward.

The other alternative is I go stay with my mum for a little bit? (She is not elderly or shielding but is working from home).

I was heavily pregnant at the height of lockdown. DSDs mother had her all over the place with no regard for the rules whatsoever. At 7 months pregnant we found out that she had taken her to London for a family reunion (we are in Scotland) with every cousin and their maiden aunt in attendance. That was it for me. Told DH she couldn’t come back until baby was born as we couldn’t trust her mother to be sensible.
This didn’t go down well but to be quite honest I make way for DSD on everything in normal times but when heavily pregnant and in the middle of a global pandemic I’m not sorry to say I was my own top priority for once.
In your shoes I’d definitely be drawing a line to protect myself and my baby. Bollocks to the “but what if they were yours, what about their feelings” brigade. They have a perfectly safe home with their mother and you deserve to be perfectly safe in your own home too. It’s only for a short time, but if he our you needs to move out then so be it. A cold late in pregnancy is hideous enough never mind Covid.

Thanks. I don't have any concerns in terms of their mum not following guidelines or anything like that and have always been more than happy for them to be here throughout lockdown. It's just with the confirmed cases at school, and us already being ill since they've been back, it's got me worried.

Tbh I'll happily just isolate in the house myself and leave them to get on with it!

Do that then. My point is that you are within your rights to do what you need to do to protect your health right now. Everyone else’s feeling and/or convenience shouldn’t figure too highly for the time being.

Do what you think is best for you and your baby.

If they were your children would you avoid them at home?

But they’re not her children.

@GoldieFoo

Thanks. I don't have any concerns in terms of their mum not following guidelines or anything like that and have always been more than happy for them to be here throughout lockdown. It's just with the confirmed cases at school, and us already being ill since they've been back, it's got me worried.

Tbh I'll happily just isolate in the house myself and leave them to get on with it!

But the air they'll have breathed in, all over, so won't offer you any protection. They'll have touched everything. All over the house again. So I'm not sure if you're doing that, that it will.offer any real protection.

If you go to your mums you'll presumably need to be there for the foreseeable and not see oh as the 14 days quarantine between child visits would never happen before the next contact.

Likewise, what will you do once baby is here and the children are coming back from school then?

To be honest the issue is that isolating in your house won’t help much if they’re there and touching all the surfaces etc. how pregnant are you? I know you said 3rd trimester, but personally I would say that I didn’t want kids in the house who have been in a school where COVID is confirmed. I’m a teacher in a school with no confirmed cases (yet 🤞) but I still am not visiting relatives due to the risk I pose and I keep as much distance as I can from the kids, whereas they do not socially distance at all at breaks and things.

I agree - there's absolutely no point in you isolating in the house if they're still coming & still in close contact with your Dp!
If you want to 'avoid' them I think they will either have to stay at their dm's & dp visit them & socially distance or you move out to your mums.
Neither is ideal but we're all having to make sacrifices at the moment inc. kids.

Go to your mums. It will be nice to have some time with her and will look much less weird than sitting upstairs.