Covid Symptoms and Contact

[Krankie]

Apologies if this has already been discussed, I had a look but couldn’t find anything.

How are you handling contact/moving between homes at the moment when someone is unwell with a Covid symptom (in either home)?

Most of the time it will just be a cold but the published guidance where we are is to organise a test and self isolate if you have any of the three main symptoms, even if they’re mild or accompanied by other non Covid symptoms.

We have other children on each side, and people in high risk groups. However over winter kids are going to have colds all the time. I just don’t know what’s best.

I think in this case you're going to have to accept that contact is likely to be disrupted at short notice this winter unfortunately.

So far none of us have been ill but if one of us is we will cancel contact (children are in secondary school so will understand why this is) and test ASAP.

Luckily we live near by and dp and his ex co parent well so it's easy to be flexible and they can just come on a different day if the tests come back negative.

If one of the kids/stepkids has Covid symptoms they should not be moving between households, just like they shouldn't be going to school.

Thank you both.

I agree. However DP & DSC’s mother don’t think a new cough warrants stopping contact. DSC has also been sent to school.

We are certainly not on the same page and I don’t seem to have a say. I wanted to see what others are doing for my own sanity.

I don't think I could live with a person who knowingly sent a child to school with a new cough right now!

You are completely right, they should isolate wherever the symptoms started until test results are in. Hopefully the school will read them the riot act!

To be clear it is a new continuous cough. It is quite different to just a cough. It sounds a lot like an asthmatic cough and lasts around an hour. Based on that it is acceptable and that is Public Health England's guidance for schools.

@Sayitaintsoiwillnotgo this is what’s causing the confusion. We are in Scotland, the advice states:

“your child needs tested if they have had a cough that lasted more than an hour, if they have had three or more coughing episodes in 24 hours or if they are coughing more than usual”

“coughing more than usual” is open to interpretation

DSC have deemed that their child does not have a persistent cough. Did schools send them home? If not they have deemed the same. I think we need to get things in perspective a little like you said earlier and be more vigilant on the symptoms of COVID19 and the symptoms of colds. This will be here for a long time. Every slight cough, runny nose etc cannot stop contact. But we must make sure that of the 3 symptoms that if they are displayed (and not misinterpreted) are tested to reduce spread.

There is no guidance in Scotland which mentions a persistent cough, or a dry/wet cough, it’s a just “continuous” cough and then description of continuous as quoted above.

Just wanted to find out what others were doing for future reference, rather than for this particular situation.

Scotland’s rules are slightly different generally. We phoned a Covid helpline for parents in Scotland who advised DSC needed a test according to the “rules” which are pretty clear cut. But no, the school did not send him home, so it’s a really inconsistent message!

So I suppose my question is more do you follow the rules, or use judgement - as we could be facing this every second week. But then if our judgement is wrong it puts vulnerable members of our families at risk.

*I agree. However DP & DSC’s mother don’t think a new cough warrants stopping contact. DSC has also been sent to school.

We are certainly not on the same page and I don’t seem to have a say. I wanted to see what others are doing for my own sanity.*

This is not acceptable OP. If you live with your DP he is unreasonable to not give equal weight to your opinion about the risk posed to your household.

Every slight cough, runny nose etc cannot stop contact

In fairness it isn't for one person to decide that it "cannot" stop contact. It's for the individuals to decide, probably taking into consideration the risk level of the area they live in and the vulnerability of the people in their bubble. For some it will be a risk worth taking but for others it may not be.

I live in an area with a lot of cases, if anyone in my household had symptoms we would not be seeing DSC right now.

Thanks @aSofaNearYou - I’ve been trying to argue this with my partner that I should have a say.

We are also in an area where indoor visits are currently not allowed (but children can move between homes if parents separated). So for us I’d say overall risk is quite high.

DP just doesn’t agree though, and has indicated won’t stop contact if there are symptoms over winter. I’m very worried about how this is going to affect our relationship and care of our young baby.

Personally I think it is completely inappropriate to make this decision unanimously, especially as you are in a local lockdown area so it is particularly reasonable to suspect Covid when somebody gets ill.

Who is it that is high risk?

Thank you. There are grandparents on either side who were shielding. Once indoor restrictions are lifted they will be helping us with childcare, so could easily pass it on.

There are other implications too, even if it’s just a cold. Nursery/workplaces sending us home etc until we’ve had a test. They won’t care that we think “it’s just a cough”.

I’m having a torrid time with this issue. I had surgery under GA for a miscarriage on Friday and SS’s mum still insisted that he come to us for the weekend starting Saturday morning, despite being told I was going into hospital.

Not only that but I’ve managed to get myself up and dressed this morning (Sunday) only to listen to SS standing in the kitchen coughing and sniffling.

So she’s sent him to us with symptoms.

I’m actually so furious it’s making me forget how traumatised I am by the miscarriage. Some people are beyond selfish. And I’m totally blaming DH- he would have heard him coughing yesterday and should have taken him straight home.

Honestly I rue the day I ever thought dating a man with kids was even halfway okay.

@ladyfarmer I’m so sorry for what you’re going through . That sounds really awful.

It’s really hard not to blame them, they should be looking out for everyone. Children shouldn’t be moving between homes if anyone has clear symptoms IMO. In your situation you are obviously more vulnerable too. I would be furious as well.

The guidance on this has been poor throughout, with Gove screwing it up on live TV and having to later correct himself and force through the message that kids CAN move between parents homes during lockdown. This was never followed up with clear or publicised guidance for when one household has symptoms, or is at increased risk.
Just all left up to interpretation of the rules and parents judgement. However, If you’re the step parent and don’t agree with the judgement call, it puts you in a very difficult position.

Hope you feel better soon.

@Krankie Thanks so much for replying. I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall, as husband just keeps on saying ‘It’s not covid, he’s just got a cold.’ Clearly the ‘psychic test’ for COVID is available to fathers now!

But seriously, what kind of mother sends her son to a house where someone has just got out of hospital when there is even a shadow of a doubt? It’s unbelievably selfish.

What makes it worse is that we were meant to the having dinner with DH’s parents next week. His mother is extremely vulnerable, with long standing lung conditions that mean that she could die if she catches this. Presumably DH was still planning to go, after weekend spent with coughing son?

I’m a whole lot angrier because my hormones are out of whack after losing the pregnancy, but I genuinely feel like stepparents are having to put up with so much shit right now.

Do you have either:
• a high temperature or fever
• a new continuous cough
• a loss of, or change in sense of smell or taste
Please note: A new, continuous cough means coughing for longer than an hour, or three or more coughing episodes in 24 hours.
If you usually have a cough, it may be worse than usual.

That is the very first paragraph from the Scottish NHS symptom checker - it's pretty clear that the 'coughing more than usual' test applies if the patient / child usually has a cough. Not a genetic coughing more than usual which will of course by the case with a cold. Hope that helps.