Did anything change when you had your own DC?

[OrangeJoos]

With the DSC and your relationship with them?

I'm having a tough time at the moment, I am close to my DSC or so I thought but I feel really irritable right now and find they are getting on my nerves a lot quicker at the moment (currently pregnant).

Did anyone else find this? I feel so on edge when they are here at the moment and feel so much more relaxed when they are at their mums.

I feel like a bitch, I'm not sure what's wrong with me but every annoying noise or shout at the TV or refusal to do as they are told is absolutely grating on me more than it usually would so I'm spending most of my time doing other things when they are here at the moment.

I'm hoping it's just pregnancy hormones but am worried I'll continue to feel this way after the baby is here.

I didn't feel in any way differently towards my SC. The same things that irritated me before irritated me afterwards but I didn't dislike him more if that's what you mean. I will say that I now struggle more to enjoy looking after him when DD isn't around, but that's because I spend all my time looking after a child and value my down time more. I'm also more tired. I would just put it down to pregnancy hormones and tiredness, nothing more troubling.

A lot of things get more tiring or annoying when you’re pregnant. The number of threads I’ve seen over the years from women who hate their husbands out of the blue is incredible.

That aside, I think it comes down to the existing dynamic in your family unit and what sort of man your DH/DP is. Are you used to doing a lot of the shit work - cooking, cleaning, tidying etc - and now you have less energy it’s getting to you? Or is it just the noise and day to day kids stuff? My pregnancy was a really happy time with my DSC but they were very thoughtful and considerate and if I needed an afternoon nap DH would take them out to the park or cinema or whatever. They took their lead from him and he was excellent. People love to say pregnancy isn’t an illness but my god it can take it out of you, even if you have no major complications or symptoms.

I'm also pregnant and struggling but I think it's hormones.

When my DD turned a year old something snapped for me but it was down to a few things.

Prior to DD I would do school runs, take the SC to their clubs, run around after them, cook, clean and was a mug to be honest looking back now but thought I was taking the strain off my DH. They weren’t bad kids but they did act up and DH never backed me up.

Throughout first pregnancy I was quite sick and it really took it out of me - nothing changed, I was still expected to carry on.
When my DD was born I had a traumatic birth and took a while to get over it - again nothing changed and I was expected to carry on as before. The general attitude seemed to be that the SC and what they wanted (not needed) came first. After missing numerous baby groups and NCT meet ups because I was having to run around after the SC I had enough one day and told DH all future childcare of SC was down to him. I think the hormones made me more easily annoyed and irritated by their behaviour but there was a lot more to this situation. My feelings towards them did change but I needed to prioritise my DD rather than run myself into the ground for someone else’s children.