Contact still not resumed

[RainbowBow]

I’m really concerned for DH’s mental health at the moment. He hasn’t seen or spoken his DS since the beginning of March. He isn’t allowed phone calls yet MIL has had FaceTimes with SS but that’s a different thread! None of us are shielding and SS is perfectly healthy. I can’t see a valid reason why contact was halted because of lockdown. I doubt DH will see SS again this year unless he does something about it. What can we do?

SS is 7 years old, sorry forgot to mention his age!

Has his ex not even hinted at her thinking about contact?
Children are going back to full-time school in September so surely worst case scenario is September ?

What does he have in place legally?

Custody arrangements were meant to stay the same throughout lockdown (unless suspected covid in family/ shielding)

He could go to court to get something formal in place

He should himself to a lawyer. Why hasn't he done that already?

The fact he isn't even allowed phone calls is appalling.

What was contact before? Does MIL know what reason SS is being given for all of this?

The government have been very clear - even through lockdown children can travel between homes for contact.

The fact he looks isn’t ‘allowed’ calls sounds like parental alienation.

He needs to take this to court and get contact reinstated.

He can apply direct with the court (it costs £215) and represent himself.

Good luck.

Send a letter to the mother asking for contact to resume on the next date your DP would normally see SS for SS best interest. Put in there that if contact is not not go ahead, to provide a response explaining why by X date. Make sure the letter is sent recorded next day delivery

Surely with Summer holidays approaching in the next week or so there is already some sort of holiday arrangement in place? If so, make sure that's clear in the letter as SS deserves to see both. Contact arrangements were still permitted in the height of lockdown

Has he been given a reason as to why contact was stopped?

See a solicitor immediately. This sounds like alienation.

First send the letter asking for contact to resume and see if it happens as BingeOnChocolate says

If she refuses after he has sent the letter, if there is a child arrangements order then he needs to put in an application in for enforcement - www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c79-application-related-to-enforcement-of-a-child-arrangement-order He can do this himself though he may want to be represented at the hearing by a direct access barrister.

If there isn't a child arrangements order then he needs to start the process of getting one by finding a mediator and booking mediation. www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/find-local-mediator/

If he sits on his behind and does nothing then his ex will continue her behaviour so it will become more and more difficult for him to sort out contact if he eventually decides to go to Court.

Apologies for the slow response been rushed off my feet with a baby and a 4yo. SS’s mother refuses to communicate with DH and responds only through MIL. She ignores DH. Therefore DH doesn’t get to speak to his son but MIL does🙄 Not only has he not seen him for months but also missed his 7th birthday. Lockdown was the reason she gave MIL.

It’s truly awful and if DH hadn’t been let off from work during lockdown then we’d be starting court proceedings but we’ve been forced into UC which is a pittance with two children. MIL also clearly doesn’t give a damn as she isn’t pushing contact. Hopefully DH will have a job again soon so we can get it sorted. The letter sounds like a good idea as it can be documented for court. Thank you!

@RainbowBow my partner went through something similar and got a court order.

There are some upfront fees but largely they expect people to represent themselves, as solicitors are so expensive. There’s lots of info online and helpful videos. But truly he has to do this. A Child Arrangement Order sounds like what you need. It will set up a minimum amount of time your DSS should be with you. Do it now, as believe me this behaviour does not stop and while DSS is young it’s good to get this over with so your partner can actually focus on what’s important instead of trying to talk sense in to an ex who seems like they won’t listen....