When SD's go rogue

[Dollyparton3]

Adult teenage SD has been caught in the last week at a house party with at least 50 people. It was posted on social media which was how I found out.

She lives with her mum with her younger brother who is shielding. Husband is livid, SS is really upset, SS says "mum can't do anything, she's tried but given up now because she won't listen."

My DP is trying to tread a line between "if I don't keep contact with her I'll lose her". This is the billionth time that SD has insisted it's her way or the high way.

Personally I'd pick the same fight with any family member who flouted lockdown and am not going to let this go lightly.

Where do we go from here? I don't want her in our house when lockdown relaxes (although as a child she can technically visit when she wants). She is totally unashamed at breaking lockdown and will carry on doing so whenever she wants.

I think not wanting her in your house after lockdown is a bit harsh. You can't expect her dad to disown her because she went to a party when she shouldn't.

Do you normally get on? Your post sounds like you dislike her anyway.

My advice would be that as she's an adult there's not a huge need for you to be super close to her. Take a step back and let her dad deal with her and his relationship with her. It's not really anything to do with you.

It’s the shielding sibling that makes this problematic

Shielding is set to pause, but has not yet done so

Is DH on good enough terms to talk to XW about how shielding is working for them?

Because DSS’s right to minimal risk of infection outweighs hers to party (and he’s got the shitty end of the stick by having the co-morbidity in the first place - though it might not seem that way to a sibling whose life might always have had to fit round his)

Would having her full time at yours for the rest of the summer be an option?

@iVampire having her at ours is an option. We've not been allowed to see SS since the start because of his shielding (key workers in our house.) His mum admits she struggles to parent SD. It's the lack of self control that SD has that worries me and the impact on SS who's sacrificed leaving the house for 3 months.

Even with key workers here we've been incredibly careful with risk of transmission. SD won't hear that the rules apply to her