Trying to keep DD happy

[bipra21]

My partner has I think a pretty toxic relationship with his DD
She always been spoiled and used to getting her own way. When it was her wedding her GM paid for a lot of it, as well as when she went crying to her for a car saying her kids weren't safe in the one she had. She gets her own way. Now her dad's getting divorced she's getting involved in that too she knows that she blackmails my partner with the GK so he's afraid to upset her, so he's handing over the capital in their property to his stbx to keep the DD sweet.
On top of this she's always hinting that's she's having to pay for this and that, bear in mind she has a husband and good job as a dental nurse and is 37.
I know he supports her financially now and again but it's not always for necessities I think he should sort himself out first!
It's her ingratitude that bothers so much... And making him feel obligated to give up all he's worked for...

Usually in this case I would say, if it’s money coming from your joint finances that it’s absolutely a discussion to be had with you, how dare he, etc etc. Instead what I’m thinking is - her dad’s going through a divorce, is this from her mum or from you? If you are just partners and not sharing finances (if this is the case) is it any of your business? Does he have any joint financial responsibilities, such as a house?
Or are you maybe just a bit salty that your partner’s daughter is potentially getting spoiled by your partner when you feel it should be you that his money is being spent on??
🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Now her dad's getting divorced she's getting involved in that too she knows that she blackmails my partner with the GK

This paragraph is a little confusing.

Is it her dad (your DP) getting divorced from her mum (his Ex wife)?

When you say she knows she blackmails my partner with the kids...do you mean his Ex knows his DD blackmails him?

Dental nurses aren't that well paid IMO...it's a good job, but with kids, I can imagine there will be a lot of costs.

If her dad and GM are happy to help and can afford to do so...what's the problem?

Is it that you think he'll have less money for spending with you?

It's her ingratitude that bothers so much.

Has he ever talked about it bothering him?

If it really bothers you so much, you need to understand this won't change. She'll keep doing what she does and he'll keep obliging her. As long as you're in a relationship with him, he will continue responding to her needs ...can you live with this?

Maybe he feels his ex sacrificed a lot and she deserves the capital.

In your position, as long as him giving her money didn't leave him short of contributing whatever has been agreed to your joint household, then it shouldn't affect you.

How long you been on the scene I'm guessing not long if they are in the progress of their divorce. There assets arent really you're business tbh neither is who paid for her wedding or car if her grandmother wanted to do it. It's quite clear you just dont like the woman.

Honestly, I would run for the hills. A man who never stands up to his adult child and never says no to any demands could make for a nightmare life together!