Step daughter behaviour

[Morrisminor16]

My sd has chosen to ignore shielding despite being highly vulnerable. She is 23 and this is her choice, however despite oh saying she therefore can not visit us if she is not staying home (he is also vulnerable), he has now caved and she is visiting him tomorrow. I am so angry that, yet again, she just does what she wants with no consequence even if she is putting her and my oh health at risk. I am told that I am the one being unreasonable, but it depresses me that this is the rest of my life - oh giving in to her demands. (This is the latest in a very long line of arrogant selfish behaviour) He suffers massive guilt for leaving and is incapable of not giving her what she wants even if that is to our detriment. I'm not sure I can continue like this. Is there any way he will ever change?

When he becomes an ex he can do as he chooses... Putting YOUR health at risk is disgusting..

When I raise that the response is - what I am supposed to do - not see my daughter? My view is yes that's the consequence of her actions. My health is not considered despite us shielding for 14 weeks! The other comment is don't make me choose between you and my kids - you won't like the answer.

Sorry is it you or your oh who is also vulnerable?

If they've agreed to meet in the garden keeping to social distancing then they are following the rules.

Can they just go for a walk together?

My oh needs to shield as does sd. She has been staying at other people's houses and not keeping to social distancing. He has also said she can't be expected to stay in the garden and will need to use the bathroom. This is is another (far more serious) example of his inability to say no to her and also to respect my wishes of what happens in my own home. Ss and his girlfriend moved in last summer for 2 months against my wishes and we have only just got over that. They have no respect for their father and just see him or contact him for money but he can't see that.

I'm not sure I can continue like this. Is there any way he will ever change?

He won’t even say no when his life literally could depend on it so sadly I don’t think he ever will change OP.

He will almost certainly continue to prioritise their wants over everything else. Then play the “don’t make me choose” card to shut you up.

Sorry OP I know that’s probably not what you want to hear.