Can anyone give me some advice on introducing my new partner into DDs life without her going into meltdown?

[TheMoistWorldOfSpetimusQuench]

So after splitting up with DDs dad when she was 1, and spending the last 4 years as a happy lone parent (with a few relationships kept totally separate from DD), I've now met a lovely man who has a DS of his own & who will, I'm almost certain, become a really significant part of our lives.

DD is a sensitive soul, and has already said that she's "worried" about this man & boy who have come into our lives - she likes them , but can clearly see that change is afoot and I guess that's making her feel insecure - what with having spent her formative years having me all to herself.

I've reassured her that she's my girl & I'm her mummy & no one else will ever be so special - but I don't think that's enough.

So far we've all spent time together as a foursome, and the father has been over a couple of times in the evening on his own for dinner with us both. He hasn't so far spent the night here.

I know that this man being in our lives will be really positive for us both in the long term, but poor old DD really needs help through the transition. Any advice from seasoned step parents?

.

Anyone?

You need to tell her the truth. It's a good idea to have broken her in gently but you know need to sit her down and tell her that you and your partner are in love and want to form a new family together. She needs to hear a very clear message from you - she will probably find it hard, but it will relieve her of anxiety.

I think by gradually spending more and more time with them your daughter will get used to having them around.

How old is she?

I agree you need to tell her you see this man sticking around, why not do something nice together and have a heart to heart, tell her she will never be replaced and you will never love anybody more than you love her. She needs to hear that, especially if she is already voiced her 'worries'.

Also if you and your parnter do eventually move in together I think it is really important you both spend some quality alone time with your own children still too. Just an hour or two one to one on a regular basis will make a lot of difference to your daughter and his son.

hth

Does she see you two being affectionate?

I would let her see you kiss and cuddle. Does he spend time talking/playing directly with your dd? say while you do dinner or soemthing?

My dd is 5 also btw