Pushed out

[hushhushhush]

Please can someone help with ways so I don't feel pushed out when my sc stay .To start they're here most days .They're good kids but omg when they're here I may as well be invisible.They're both clambering after their dads attention all the time .They are both teenagers .I feel bad opening up about this , but I've now had to remove myself from them all .I feel a switch in side their dads heads goes of and he chooses to ignore me when here .He shows me no affection in front of them , I'm only talking hand hold , sitting next to me or even a cuddle .help me feel strong about all this

@indemMUND
What a pile of pish!!
Why should step kids always be bowed down to, to the expense of anyone else’s feelings or needs?
This red carpet parenting just produces spoiled entitled brats with no ability to compromise.
MN loves telling women to accept their measly little place in a man with DC life, why does a man expect a woman to be treated like shit by his kids, I would hate to
think my DC would ever be rude like that to anyone regardless of who they where.

I wonder what the DP’s thinking is on this. He refuses to acknowledge his long term cohabiting partner half the week to dote on two teenagers and refuses to discuss her feelings about it. If she realises it’s bullshit and she deserves better and leaves him, and they grow up a bit and move out, get jobs, go to uni, have their own relationships, he’s left with what?

Just to answer some of your queries.I'm not seeking out for his attention when they are here .it's just lately I've noticed more how he ignores me when they are here .I'm all for parents spending time with their children 1 to 1 I encourage it .I take myself of into another room when I think I need to .This isn't about me removing myself completely .
It's just when we're all together that's when I feel pushed out .Like it's a pecking order .

@OtterBe4 OP feels pushed out because he won't sit next to her on the sofa etc. If it was more serious that the examples listed then yes, you have a point. For what it's worth, my DD's father had a girlfriend who was so welcoming of my DD along with the baby that she had by him that I was more than content for her to take on the role that she did at the time. No one was pushed out. If anything, she put herself out to include DD. It didn't work out in the end between them but I am certainly not against other partners entering the mix. No one should bow down at all but the relationship between parents and children should be left alone if it's for the sake of not being made a fuss of in their presence. The OP's story isn't a severe enough example to claim red carpet brats!

As I said, at their ages this probably won't last long.

@AnneLovesGilbert
You've certainly got a point there.

Do the same back to him when kids r not there !!

Presumably he pays attention to you when his children are at their mother's house. As long as you are expected to wait on them hand and foot during their stay, do your own thing. See it as an opportunity!

They'll soon be offhand anyway.

It sounds very unhealthy and has set up a dynamic where it feels like it's you vs them, as if a hug to you somehow detracts from them and vice versa. This isn't good for any of you. Unless he changes this I would consider detaching with a view to looking for something healthier in the future. You don't deserve to be ignored in your own home.