Covid

[Headache87]

Hi Guys

So my partners son (13) has been with us throughout lockdown, since the day they closed the schools. (He lives with his mum) He has been back to his mums 3 times for the day during this time. Although i dont mind him being with us i feel its not been easy or fair having him this whole time when his mum is just sitting at home with her partner and other son (5) and not being in the slightest bothered about son (13). His mum has taken his ps4 and phone away as a punishment which happened sometime back in march!!! So hence why he has no intention of going home! He is getting a very easy ride at our house so even when my partner has taken him back to his mums he manages to just turn back up at our house with a made up excuse or begging on the phone for his dad to come and get him!! Anyway when he last came back from a day at his mums he told us her partner has been tested for covid 19 but hasnt had results back yet.....This has really annoyed me that she hasnt got a care in the world and has not told us when SS has been back to her house! Ss has also said his brother (5) is going back to school as soon as they open! She tried splitting us up a few weeks before lockdown so dont think she has any care there but we have a 4 yr old daughter together and worried for her safety and also spent so much time away from my family i dont want to hold back another 2 weeks because of this selfish cow!!

I'm confused. So SS mum's partner has been unwell and tested for covid, yet didn't tell you even though SS is back and forth between houses??

Yes

Well that was a bit shit of her. In all honestly I would not be happy, especially with other children in the house.

It may not be he feels he gets a easy ride at your house, he may feel loved and valued in your house

As a PP said you may simply just be "nicer" people rather than being soft. Some of the kids in my family prefer me to some of their other aunts and uncles, and I'm stricter. It simply because I'm clear in my expectations and have always try to make them age-appropriate. (I also have a SC and was a SC.)

Anyway as your step-son is 13 no court will force him to live with his mum if he doesn't want to.

I suggest you have a serious talk with your partner about your step-son moving in full-time and what boundaries you both need to put in place for him.

Then when you are in agreement with each other, you both sit down and talk to him. Ask him if he wants to live with you full time. If he says "yes" tell him your joint rules and boundaries. Get your partner to make clear that you and your daughter need to be respected. Then take it from there.