I could go on for hours and hours about the problems we are facing with my 6 year old sd however here it (Sorry for the long read)
We have 5 children between us I have 3 boys and he has 2 girls both our youngest are 6 years old we have been living together for 2 years and the girls have been with us 50/50 but now full time (not been at mums for nearly 11 weeks)
SD has always been somewhat spoilt dad has always jumped at every demand as mum hasn’t always been let’s say emotional attentive to her needs and he’s always felt he needed to make up for that (his words) I do understand where he’s coming from but now it’s becoming a problem.
She is very demanding and needy for attention always has to be next to someone especially adults usually clinging round your neck or just saying your name just to smile almost a “hey don’t forget I’m here” kind of way. We can’t spend anytime with the other children without her coming in for a “huggle” or asking for something, if you give anything to anyone else she will kick off demanding one for herself even if it’s something like a little praise “well done for eating all of that” etc She will say “look what I’ve done I’m good too” she interrupts when your talking or on the phone and demands drinks and snacks all day long. Along with this she’s stubborn and doesn’t care one bit about anyone else she will often cut her nose off to spite her face for example she would rather just have one sweet than have to share a bag with anyone else even tho she will get more. Recently we’ve rearranged the bedroom so she can play with her toys instead of having them all over the room as I wanted to get a sofa instead of having to sit at the dinning table to watch tv, since doing this she has refused to play with any toys and often sulks round the house complaing she’s bored when asked why she isn’t playing with her toys she said “because I want them down stairs not in my room” after an explanation to why I did it she told me she wouldn’t play with them untill I moved them back down stairs (I’m giving up at this point) end of and nope she still hasn’t touched them 2 weeks later!
Her eating is poor will often sit for hours refusing the meals I make even when she’s either helped Make or picked out what where having we have removed snacks and treats, done screen bans etc nothing works she just doesn’t care, she will only eat when there’s a reward chat in place and will often say “if you do me another chart I’ll eat everything” She’s 6 not a hostage negotiator!
She rarely gets on with anyone even at school unless the children are doing exactly what she says she won’t play, she will paddy untill they get fed up and just let her do what she wants which seems to be the common theme, she will “tell them off” all the the time but will cry and scream whenever anyone else “tells her off” She will only do school work when she feels like it and will just sit there ignoring you when your explaining anything (this is in school and home schooling) she refuses any help when doing anything because she knows better and will continually correct anyone if they say something wrong.
Although over the lockdown period she has improved she speaks like a baby not pronouncing her words correctly and using baby talk such as “dada” “drinky” and “huggle” I refuse point blank to acknowledge her when she’s speaking in that way which has definitely helped her to talk properly as she now only speaks like that when she is talking to her mum on the phone, but will sometimes slip back.
I’m tired of constantly having to tell her off it’s draining and I feel all my attention is on her and the others including the other 6 year old just get left out I find my self wishing for them to go back home just to have a break
I get told it’s been hard for the girls adapting to living with 3 other children (Mum makes comments about how they need to make sure dad is spending time with them and not with the boys) and the break up but the boys have been through the same (if not worse as they don’t see their dad at all) yet their not acting in this way the other 6yr old is very well behaved, polite and will give up his last anything to make anyone happy.
We have argued so much about it and I do start to wonder if it is just me who is being over the top and not seeing it’s just a little girl going through a lot of changes but then it’s should she be allowed to act like this when no one else is.
Agh I need some advice or I feel I will start to lose the relationship I have with her and possibly my partner too