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DSD’s weight issues.

16 replies

Eskdale2004 · 18/05/2020 11:19

I’m a nutshell, she’s 10, she just came to us last week after 7-8 weeks away from us (she’s usually here fri-sun every weekend and most of the school holidays) for a while before lock down it was obvious that she was starting to fill out. We put this down to starting puberty etc.

Now she’s very obviously overweight. I was the fat kid, I was teased and bullied about it by my family and it lead to awful self confidence issues and later on an eating disorder and an exercise addiction. I don’t want that for her but at the same time I don't want her confidence being affected. We’ve been going for hilly walks everyday and she’s really struggled with them and been very obviously out of breath.
She seems to expect sweet treats several times a day. We encourage her to snack on fruit but she refuses and throws a fit.

We eat healthily on the whole and she’s recently started to eat vegetables which is obviously a good thing.
I think being out of routine with school and not being able to go to her usual sports clubs really hasn’t helped matters (she usually goes to dance, swimming and gymnastics every week after school so she’s usually pretty active)

We’ve spoken to her mum and she said she really struggled with her behaviour and mood swings. She’s on her own so hasn’t got the back up of a partner etc and often gives in to her which obviously isn’t helping but on the other hand I know how difficult she can be to deal with. Has anyone got any advice?

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RandomMess · 18/05/2020 11:28

I would assume she is a sugar addict and just not buy sugary food/snacks and ask her Mum to do the same. Hopefully after her going through withdrawal her mood won't be as bad...

RandomMess · 18/05/2020 11:29

That includes fizzy drinks and squash that contain aspartame as it is actually sweeter than sugar and fuels sugar cravings.

Eskdale2004 · 18/05/2020 11:36

@RandomMess I’ve suspected the same myself. We don’t have fizzy drinks etc in the house so she won’t be having those while she’s here. She’s definitely been more difficult to deal with and I know it sounds bad but I can see why her mum gives in to her. Honestly with a crying baby, a whining 6 year old and house that looks like a bomb has gone off, I’ve almost given in myself. I quite imagine that she’ll throw bigger fits for her mum than she does for me though.

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RandomMess · 18/05/2020 12:29

Do you have squash though? Full of sweetener!!

I would have a heart to heart with her Mum and see if you can agree to 3 weeks - neither of you having it in the house, makes it easier to not give in. With lockdown it's easier to say they were sold out or didn't get delivered.

Ask her Mum if you can give either of them any support to get through it.

MeridianB · 18/05/2020 12:33

Totally agree, no drinks or sweets or anything that’s mostly sugar.

What are her favourite meals? If you can fill her up with lots of savoury food she likes, it will slowly help her moods and cravings. Protein will help, too. Could she cook with you occasionally?

You can tell her that you were all eating too many sugary things during lockdown and needed to stop buying them for everyone.

Windyatthebeach · 18/05/2020 12:35

If you can get any - popcorn kernels - made at home has no sugar!
We had a popcorn maker - kept dc happy.

RandomMess · 18/05/2020 12:41

Will probably do all of you good to detox (ahem - me too Blush)

zoemum2006 · 18/05/2020 12:53

I've struggled with my weight because I am a sugar addict and I had to go cold turkey and just not have any cakes, sweets, biscuits etc.

It sucks but sugar has a really bad effect on my body. It makes me gain weight very quickly and I can't just have 1 or 2 biscuits.

Maybe explain to her that some foods just don't agree with people (many say bread really bloats them) so they have to avoid that food for their health and wellbeing.

Eskdale2004 · 18/05/2020 12:56

No, no squash. I don’t even buy it in.
@MeridianB she usually leaves a good portion of her evening meals. We tend to have things like chicken stir fry, homemade quiche with salad, spaghetti bolognese with salad and veggies grated into the tomato sauce, omelettes etc at this time of year. She will usually eat 3/4 of everything but still leaves a good amount and doesn’t have huge portions to start with. She does help me with cooking and shows an interest. She can peel veggies for me and add herbs/spices to certain recipes.

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RandomMess · 18/05/2020 13:02

I wonder if she is naturally sedentary- not a fidgeter?

Can you ask her to put on a show with your 6 year old - gymnastics and dance etc so they are practicing and moving more?

Eskdale2004 · 18/05/2020 13:22

@RandomMess she’s definitely more on the sedentary side. My 6yo never stops whereas DSD has always been calmer unless she isn’t getting her own way!)

She seems to really enjoy her sports classes though and she’s quite good at gymnastics as she regularly shows us if she’s learnt something new. So that’s positive and all to be encouraged when these things are up and running again.

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rosecreakybex · 18/05/2020 13:52

I know you're worried but youve just got her back after her mum has had her solid for two months... I think helpfully suggesting to her that she's been feeding her the wrong stuff is likely to go down like a cup of cold sick - however well intentioned!

Eskdale2004 · 18/05/2020 13:58

@rosecreakybex I wouldn’t be suggesting anything like that at all. I’ll make subtle changes. She knows what we usually eat/do when she’s here anyway. I just want to make sure she doesn’t end up with self esteem/health issues like I did.

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Windinmyhair · 18/05/2020 14:00

Don't wait - She can do gymnastics now. There are lots of at home gymnastics classes on you tube - little gym do a 6-12 year old class that she could do.

Show her videos of how olympic athletes are keeping fit at home in lockdown and work out things you can do together?

LadyFuschia · 18/05/2020 14:03

My 11.5 yr old has definitely been gaining a bit of weight but it is just at the time she’s naturally started to fill out as well. She is a sugar fiend so we do limit it without banning it, but it’s definitely her ‘vice’ - I don’t want to give her a complex, and also accept I share that vice a bit & have gained a few pounds despite being pretty slim... I focus on healthy foods and exercise and leave it at that. It will be easier to lose the weight in a few months than to repair the issues I might cause by trying to do anything more than I am, in my view.
However I can see that a united approach might help for both households and hope mum can feel supported by this too. It’s very hard being mum to a hormonal preteen (I find) and they do push and push and push.

RandomMess · 18/05/2020 14:13

Get yer to teach your DC gymnastics/dance etc that's what I mean - has she any sort of mat or could you afford a tumble track etc?

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