Has anyone ever taken on the CSA and won?!

[purplelollypop]

I'll try to keep this short but apologies if it goes on too much!
The situation is that I have 3 DSC who live with us for 6 nights every 2 weeks and at least (very often more) half of the school holidays. DP has always paid for most of their clothes, shoes, school trips, after school care etc. We rent a 3 bedroom house so that they can have their own room with their stuff in.

So, the problem is BM had involved the CSA and claimed that he has never contributed anything towards them and only has them over night twice a week! He's now expectd to back pay huge amounts unless he can produce recepts for everything he has paid for (who keeps them!). He has to pay just over £1000 a month which is just not possible.

The sad thing is that all this is going to really affect his contact with them. It is debatable if we will be able to afford much more than a 1 bedroom flat which means we'll have to reduce the time they spend here. It's really getting us both down, we feel likeour family is being torn from us. The kids are here now and talking about getting their pocket money tomorrow. How do we tell them we just can't keep buying them stuff anymore? Can anyone help?

ooooh! They haven't tried that one with us yet. That's something to be aware of.
W@nkers!

purplelollypop, i see so many posts about how unreasonable the csa are and yet myself and friends included, have had a hell of a time getting any money through them at all.

as i speak...my exp pays £15 every two weeks...arrears from 2004. no mention of the next three years. they dont even chase him for it. they certainly wouldn't backdate it. it starts from when you claim as far as i know, not when the child was born.

im not calling you a liar, but as far as i know, the only time you would incur huge arrears is if your dp had ignored their correspondence for as long as possible?

sorry, that post looked like i was accusing you of something. wasnt meant to come out like that!

Hi nightowl. They actually collect arrears from when the 'parent with care' goes on benefits. Or so we were told. Unfortunatly the children or parent with care never get this money, or won't in this situation, as it is to pay benefits back to the government.
The whole process of getting to this point(not helped by them, despite being told of our new address still sending letters to the old one!)has taken several months though.
I have friends in your situation and I know that the CSA seems to do little to help when the so called absent parent doesn't comply and isn't on a very high wage. Think the main mistake DP made was trying too hard to comply with them.

They backdated dh's to the date they split up, which I guess was the date she went onto benefits.

My DH ha and still is dispute with CSA. It is a nightmare and the letter they send out are horrendous. I am worried sick. It is true that they take what the BM says as Gospel and then it is up to you to prove otherwise. We do a round trip of 200 miles every other weekend and half the school holidays. and we have been told that we owe a £2000 arrears and they want £50 a week. We pay for everything for DSC when with us and pay for the petrol there and back which is approx £160 a month and they want £100 a week off us. We do not have £100 a month to pay and because we don't they have got a debt company on to us and are now going to employers to take the money direct out of the wages. And yes the little amount of money I have is also taken into account, as somehow their got hold of my NINO and checked themselves without my permission to do so. It has been a nightmare. I hate answering the phone, and actually thinking about charging our home number. I understand chasing Fathers who do walk away from their responsibilites, but my DH like many others have not walked away. His Ex actually left him for another women. So how was he suppose to compete with that. But she is very bitter towards us and our family. We really do not know where to go from here. I also really do not understand why CSA has to take into consideration any money that I have coming in.

I completly agree Tigereyes. It's just so unfair. The fathers that are easy to track down, have a steady income and want to supporth their children are beeing treated so badly, while those that don't want to pay are not being persued by the CSA.
DP recently rang the CSA and said that he could only afford £5 a week arrears, or he would loose our house and be unable to see the children overnight at all. They seemed to accept that. Also I've heard that as long as you pay something every month towards arrears they won't take you to court. Have you tried this? Make sure you tell them in writing that you are willing to pay for now but that does not mean that you accept liability for them. Have you thougt about going to your local PM?
On the subject of providing evidence have you (or anyone else) got any idea how to go about prooving how many nights DSC stay overnight with you?
So far the CSA have got every figure wrong, and always in their favour e.g wrong income, wrong no of nights dsc spend here, wrong payment amounts (even if you go by their wrong figures!). There is something so wrong going on!

It is an absolute nighmare. The MP said they we should pay some off the arrears but when we say we can't afford what they are asking and offer less then they say they have the power to go direct to the employees and they will use the power so we have no choice to but pay what they are asking. We have several time been refused a face to face officer, who actually listen and empathise but can do very littl. Its just having someone who actually listens.
As for proving it, they won't accept our family statements as she has statement stating otherwise.
To be bruterly honest it would be cheaper to pay CSA and never have any dealings with SC. I don't mean that to sound as awful as it does. But it would. It is very hard and getting more and more difficult to make ends meet. And still keep contact going. So again I do not understand Is this the whole point of the CSA, make it as difficult as possible for you to be able to afford to see and have any contact with your child. I thought the govenment were for ensuring supporting families so that children do not miss out, if parents split. They need both parents in their livies. I know my DSC are very much loved and thought of and have a very special place in our home. But CSA is making our home life very difficult and our relationship is very much starting to suffer.

Oh Tigereyes, it sounds terrible but so familiar. We've only just started this battle but it's already affecting our relationship. I've recently been wondering why I'm doing this at all. You're right, it would be much easier to stop seeing DSC at all, or give up our jobs and get benefits. Sure it would be more affordable for DP if I left him (although they haven't mentioned my income yet) and I'm sure this would make DSC's mother chill out more and make everyones life easier. Love DP and DSC so much but can't see a way out of this.