Find step son irritating sometimes

[Hushhhhhh]

I feel horrid but since this lockdown (and occasionally before), I'm struggling with my step son.

All I can say is it feels like he just likes to be annoying. If he thinks something is winding you up, he'll do it more. He makes silly noises at the top of his voice over and over and over, if you ask him to stop he'll do it louder. He won't do anything you ask him to without doing something silly first, he winds his siblings up no end so they end up fighting, he will poke and prod and just be silly despite being told to leave them alone, he will ask you the same question 20 times despite knowing the answer to wind you up. He can also get quite aggressive with his siblings if they fall out, he will punch and pinch and has left marks often on them from it.

He can often be a lovely boy and I do care about him but I'm finding him really hard to be around at the moment especially as I'm looking after them a lot on my own as I'm WFH and DH and Ex aren't.

I just need to rant. I know he's just being a kid and he's probably bored but I feel at the end of my tether with the silliness and annoying stuff right now.

Yes children can be as annoying as hell.

It’s ridiculous for a pp to suggest SEN.

It sounds like he’s struggling with the new life we have all been thrown into. He’s suddenly gone from a predictable set up with school, friends, and activities, to being stuck with you (no offence, just as you don’t want to be lumbered with the kids all the time, he doesn’t want to be with you either). These are all attention seeking type behaviours which suggests he’s after more attention, probably from his parents.

Some of the behaviours could be indicative of SEN, I have a 5yo with ASD and I recognise some of what you describe.

I don’t really have any answers though because I’m struggling with my own child at the moment.

Thanks HomeSchool. I think it's definitely been a factor in terms of how often or to the extent that he's doing these things but he was definitely like this before this whole situation. He has always been the most difficult out of them.

Your OH needs to clamp down on it, he sounds so like my SS was at his age. Everyone had the attitude it was him just being a cheeky chappy and cute. He was also the youngest of 3 (his parents little baby) but now has a 2 younger brothers. Now that “cheeky chappy” is 13 with an ADHD and ODD diagnosis (pushed by his mother for DLA) on the verge of being kicked out of school and on the police radar. This might sound a bit OTT but honestly it’s causing so much stress, my husband has sleepless nights worrying about him. Your SS may well calm down as he matures and grows up but I wouldn’t have been happy being left to care for him on my own and still wouldn’t!

Yeah, I kinda read that these behaviours were part of a normal pattern for him, but have got much worse since lockdown began. You could try talking to him about how he’s feeling, I suspect that this is all feelings related, but he might not have the ability to process and communicate these feelings. What I do know, at least for my own child, is that the getting mad and shouting at him (e.g. for hitting) seems to make things worse. And yes, I am having my buttons pushed morning, noon and night at the moment.

This age is sooooo difficult. They're really developing their egos and are like teenagers but little kids at the same time. DSS is nearly 8, he lives with us full time and i adore him but he drives me INSANE sometimes.

Fingers crossed you get furloughed soon

My own DS is 9 and I feel like this at the moment. I can't get away frim him. I think you're doing a great job with what seems like little practical support from either of his parents.

I've not much to suggest in solutions but I wanted to say well done.