Advice / rant on COVID 19 - DSC visiting & mums boyfriend

[NorthernSpirit]

Can I ask for some advice?

DSC are with us - came yesterday and we have them for a week.

Both parents agreed that children can travel between houses.

We’ve been really strict. Have stuck to the government guidelines to the letter. We are both working from home, have had absolutely no one visit us, we only leave the house for a basic quick shop (and are sticking to the 2m rule), go for a daily walk.

Children arrived yesterday and mentioned that their mums boyfriend (who doesn’t live with them) has been visiting regularly over the last 2 weeks. Mum says this is ok as he lives on his own.

I’m furious. Not only are they endangering the children, but also us and they (the kids) are travelling to our household.

Am I over reacting?

The advice is really clear - absolutely no mixing of households.

My OH is thinking about what to do. The mother is completely unreasonable and stops contact if he dare do anything to ‘upset’ or go against her. He wants to write to her to tell her how wrong he thinks this is but it’s likely to start WW3.

What are your thoughts on this?

You're right to be angry. Yet another case of something thinking it doesn't apply to them.

It's rock and hard place though isn't it. You say anything and your OH may not see his kids again until after lockdown is over. You need to weigh up the options and decide what is for the greater good. Is there anyway to have them at yours for longer periods of time until this is over?

Just to add - we're in quite a similar situation. My SS is still coming between houses and I worry. His Mum is still seeing her BF who is still working so mixing with others, whereas we're staying at home, barely shopping and keeping our DS in the house. SS's Mum does not have the best mental health and there is social services involvement and they want him attending school after Easter, which will result in even more social mixing, but as theres a court order in place and the impact not seeing her son may have on her social services have advised we still to current arrangements. We have as in the big picture its what is best for SS wellbeing but we are worried nevertheless. Its lose lose isn't it?

OP, you’re not imagining it - she is wrong. It sounds like anything your DP says to her will be taken as a comment on her social life rather than improving her understanding of lockdown.

I guess the question is, if you’d known beforehand would have cancelled their stay with you?

@MeridianB - any communication my OH makes to her will result in a vitriolic rant back.

The children have even said how terrible it is when people don’t stock to the rules as we’ll only have to stay in longer.

If we had known this was happening - then no, I wouldn’t want the children here as I am concerned about the spread of infection.

She is unbelievable. Never thinks the rules apply to her and will not listen to anyone.

I that case can the kids shame her into stopping the bf visits?

Do you now have to decide whether to keep them with you to avoid the risks or send them back and not have them again?

Tbh then I'd keep the children and email her to explain why. Stating the flouting of the government’s guidelines and this obviously not being in the children's best interests.

Solomummy - that is what we did and go absolutely vilified on here.
In our case Mumwas a key worker but because we did it and then told her we were wrong!

wait for the vitriol to begin