Stop my h seeing his daughter

[lovemylifq]

Hi just after advice my partner has a 5 year old who stays with us two nights a week now me and my partner have just had a new born now 4 weeks old I'm worried that sd will be due to come stay at ours as her mother hasn't been staying at home. What shall I do? I'm so worried I'm losing sleep. Do I say we cant Have ds until lockdown is over

The current guidelines are that children can move between houses unless self isolating/immunocompromised.

I think you should discuss this with your partner as opposed to telling him that he can't see his 5 year old.

You don't take it out on a child who is probably already feeling excluded from Dads new life.

The risks are minimal. Their relationship is far more important.

I would love for my sd to come and it all be normal and I've also not told my partner he cant have her, we are both very confused what the best thing to do is so I would appreciate no bitchy rude comments we are both very worried and I just want to keep my baby safe especially being a first time mum

The guidance is not confusing at all. In fact it is on the front page of the bbc news. Children can move between homes. New borns are not on the shield or isolation list.

@lovemylifq I don't think either of those comments were bitchy in the slightest. Current government guidelines are for children to move between homes. I can only assume that this decision was made due to the emotional risk to children and parents re not seeing each other for potentially 3 months +. Many parents are going to work in key worker roles and still have to go home to their children. I still went to the supermarket and came home to my toddler. The detrimental effects of a 5 year old being excluded from the family home when her newborn sibling and father are there, for an extended period could be really quite devastating for a child. I think you need to continue contact, in my opinion.

The risk of mental health and long term family problems from excluding the 5 year old right now are far higher than the risks to your newborn from getting sick.
Reject her now and she will always feel insecure and struggle with behaviour at yours for life.
Bring her over, and there is a very small chance that your little one gets sick. If she or her household have symptoms then that can be explained to her in line with the 7/14 day rules - so and so is sick and we can't pass it to the baby. If no one is sick, she needs to come. Babies are not getting any more scary sick with this then they do with normal colds (they can get scary sick with colds but its rare, same as C19). No baby is known to have died. Worst case scenario you have a sick baby who will get better and less risk of long term family problems due to the 5 year old.