What would you do if you don't trust that your SC's mum is socially distancing?

[Layladylay234]

Currently 30 weeks pregnant and took my 10 year old son out of school on Weds after his head teacher developed a temp. Partner has been working at home since last Mon too.

Had a chat with partner over the weekend about what to do with contact with SD whole also 10. She was in school until they closed on Fri and we think mum is working from home 2 days a week. I initially said no problem to having SD at ours 3 days a week because obviously I'd be at home with son anyway. But then we realised that SD mum might not be socially distancing. DP said he wouldn't be surprised if she's going around normally,seeing her boyfriend and his kids at the weekend....

From reading the other thread,is seems most people are deciding to not do normal/regular contact. And the ones that are are the ones who trust their children's other parent. Which my DP doesn't. So what do you do in this case?

Take your SD permanently and self isolate with SD

Either suggest you have her full time for the foreseeable, or cancel having her, if you cannot trust the mother to isolate.

I would have a discussion with her first about what she is doing, though, she may surprise you.

So DP sent an email which she replied to. She had been over to her boyfriends (who has 2 children) with SD on Saturday and they went to a country park. She did say she kept their distance at the park and they came back after an hour.

She said work are only allowing her to work 2 days a week this week and next week and then she doesn't think they'll let it continue. I think she's living in a bit of a dream world re work as she's an admin assistant for an air conditioning company so hardly key worker. And with the current climate work will either close or make redundancies. But I can understand she's prob worried about losing her job. It's such a mess.

I think at the moment my partner is leaning towards asking her to completely socially distance for the foreseeable future (like she should be anyway!) Or if she can't/won't do that,then asking to have SD for the foreseeable future.

Nightmare.

My partner and I are having this argument/discussion; we know the mum has been going out with kids and having friends over, and while no one in my house is high risk, I don't want to risk anyone getting unwell as we've been socially distancing and only going out for essentials..... he thinks it's ok for them to come over, I think he's naive and part of the reason it's spreading so quickly

My partner is currently taking care of his kids at his ex’s house, as she is a key worker and DS is in the vulnerable group.

The choice was clear, either the kids came here for the whole time or stayed alone/school while their mum was at work. I guess he will be staying in her spare bedroom for a few weeks. But then, this is not the time to have an issue about this.

The Mother of All - thank you for being so mature and sensible in an extraordinary position.

HAve no intention of ever getting back with my EX but for me to go to work (ITU)he needs to look after the DCS. We have the same arrangement - his second EX is going bonkers!