Update on a previous thread...

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/stepparenting/3442391-Family-court-and-reduction-in-contact-for-private-nursery?pg=1&order=

For anyone who read the previous thread, and was supportive....

DP went back for a final hearing today after a fresh application was made by him in June 2019.

This time he took a direct access barrister, after being unrepresented until today.

He now has a full weekend with his daughter, friday 4.30pm - sunday 5pm with an increase to include sunday night dropping off monday morning when she is at school. A night every week. Half of all school holidays. And happily, he now has Chirstmas eve til christmas day 2pm with meeting half way this year, with 2pm christmas day - boxing day meeting half way the following year, then alternating.

It had to go to a contested hearing again, with the magistrate making the decision. They recognised that the previous order was both not fit for purpose, but also was unusual in the way it was put in place with having half a weekend day, no proper provision for holidays and DP never having any christmas day with her dad.

It doesn't make up for the time lost for DPs daughter, but hopefully she will benefit from more time with her dad going forward.

Also as an update, Mum never went to work. It was just a ploy to reduce contact ultimately.

Hopefully the child will cope well with all the back and forth. Can't imagine many adults would like that arrangement.

I don't understand how that order passed the best interest of the child principle. That seems rather chaotic and means she will be ferried back and forth every Christmas Day. Why not just alternate it each year?

He asked for alternate christmas. He has asked for it at every order (3rd time back in court - history in previous thread). He didn't want a split day for her. Court last time ordered no christmas eve or christmas day with him ever as a result of him not wanting to split her day.

This is an update to the previous thread not a new debate over a dad spending time with his daughter. I had some lovely kind posters on that thread and they might like to hear the outcome of today.

Oh I'm not knocking you OP, I know how my post comes across. Just was more curious how the judge felt in his reasoning that it was in her best interest. I hope you all manage with the new arrangements and that lo flourishes with it.

He isn't home yet, but the reasoning last time was because she has a sister. I can't imagine how they justified the split day. Ultimately 4 kids (my 2, his daughter and her sister) now all have a 45 min journey to make every single christmas day (mine will have to make the trip if I am in work, which is usually every other year).

🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷

45 minutes isn't that much on christmas day to see family. Lots of children do it.
The result sounds great for your DH and his daughter, I hope live moves forward smoothly for you all.

Christmas jingles on in the car along with silly hats from crackers- make it a new tradition for the journey and it will fly by

I don't think I have seen DP as happy and animated as he has been tonight. He feels like life with his daughter will finally get better. I do hope so. He has been through a lot to get a relationship with her.

My children chose themselves to spent half of Christmas with their dad and half with with me exactly the way the judged ordered it for your SD. What mattered to them was to spend the day with both their parents, and if it wasn't going to be together, doing half a day with each is what made them happiest. They also enjoyed the trip between because it was a time for them to have a short rest after the morning buzz.

They are now older teenagers/your adults and this is still what they choose to do.

It must indeed what children fare well with if the judge ordered it.

We have split-Christmas days with my SD’s. I think it’s actually not a bad idea! We do presents, a special snack, a movie, see family all after 2pm.
In have my own children too. It takes some planning to make sure you are home at 2pm and not at parents eating turkey, but the only time this arrangement didn’t work at all was the year my children were all with their dad and we decided to have a grown up holiday abroad for Christmas! We had a fake Christmas Day with them all when we got home instead.
I would suggest this split day for my own children too if it didn’t mean that the children would be like ships in the night on Christmas Day!
Congratulations to Dad! Hope all goes well from now on x

Congrats! I’m happy for you both. And hopefully his daughter will love the security and stability this judgement gives.

Just read the whole of your previous thread, that's really great news OP wishing you all the best x

Thank you for the update. I'm thrilled for your husband. I'm sure Christmas will be fine, it shows he's accepted a compromise which is good.