How do you not sweat the small stuff?

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Genuine question. I am fed up of being irritated by my 12 year old stepson's thoughtlessness. He walks round the house looking at his phone constantly and has no awareness of his surroundings whatsoever. I find myself getting irritated by him leaving lights on all over the place, not flushing the loo, not cleaning it after use, forgetting to take his lunch to school, you get the picture. He has lived with us part time for nearly two years and my husband constantly reinforces house rules and tries to make him accountable for doing stuff but I feel like it goes in one ear and out the other. I know that none of this stuff really matters in the grand scheme of things so how do I stop myself from being irritated all the time?

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Thanks all, old post with new responses. Stepkids are with their mum for duration of lockdown as husband is in vulnerable group. I have to say, it's very freeing not having to worry about all of this stuff! I just worry that when they're back here eventually they will have got back to their slobbish ways as they're not expected to do anything at mum's.

[Ilovecats14]

He sounds like a normal 12 year old boy. That is what mine is like. My mum friends say theirs are the same.

[Ilovecats14]

Sorry I just see you said not flushing the toilet, that is gross. Mine can flush. Mine also keeps his room clean and knows where the washing machine is. I more meant he is glued to his phone, sometimes leaves lights on and I usually have to remind him to take lunch / pe kit.