I don't approve of my partners parenting skills

[lora1231]

I'm in a tough position. My partner has 2 kids (13 & 9) from previous relationship.

I know before he met met he used to be a bit of a let down of a dad, he's admitted if himself he wasn't there as much as he should of been, especially for the older one.

But since we've been together he's really tried to turn his life around and that includes spending way more time with the kids.

We all get on great, but my partner can still be very focused on himself and he doesn't quite get the kids come first aspect of life. He'll tell the smallest he's being annoying if he's trying to do something when all the kid wants is a little attention. He also buts heads with the eldest and instead on handling it how I would he shouts at her and says he'll call her mom to get her sent home.

Don't get me wrong he's lovely with them too, but at times I just wanna shout put your phone down and interact with your kids!!

How Can I suggest these changes without undermining him!? After all their his kids not mine

Can you talk to him without sounding too critical when the kids aren't there.

I couldn't be in a relationship with a man like that, I would have no respect for him.

You need to talk to him and even find him some parenting skills course. Unfortunately if he cannot change - which will be shown by his actions - then you need to split up.

I know and have known several people who realise they cannot cope seeing children treated poorly by someone they are going out with, let alone have a child with that person.

But since we've been together he's really tried to turn his life around and that includes spending way more time with the kids.

Leave him. He's only changed because of you. If you weren't there he'd still be shit, and the kids are better off without him in that case.

Why on earth would they need to split up, its not op he is treating badly and they don't have a child together

its not op he is treating badly

Ah, right. As you were, OP's DP

he shouts at her and says he'll call her mom to get her sent home

Him wanting to spend to with his daughter and her presence in his home is conditional on her behaving a certain way. He doesn’t want to deal with anything difficult and having to actually parent her but expects her mum to do it all. He threatens his children. He shouts at them.

If you think all of that’s okay then please don’t have children. If you don’t, then break up with him so at least you’re not complicit.

He’s horrible. You knew that. He’s not going to change.

He could do with parenting classes for teens. Though I doubt he wants to