Does anyone else have utter lies said about them?

[dailyfailmail]

I just need to write this down, so it's out my head. DSS's mum was pissed at me today. So she lashed out and texted DH this utter lie ..... Apparently when DSS has hospitalised recently while he was in my care, it was for my benefit so I could 'play mum' she apparently had a quiet word with the nursing team who told her this and then she also called admissions who told her this. Apparently I looked sad and lost and needed help from the nursing staff not DSS.
This is 100% not true.
DSS's mother dumped a very poorly DSS on us at late notice. DH had to travel with work the next afternoon. I took 2 days off work to care for DSS. Took him to the GP, was worried about his breathing immediate referral to A&E. But apparently I did this for attention. Any advice on how to cope with this utter bile?

Yes. I’ve had them and as a result (at the time), detached massively from contact and withdrew not only myself but my children.

I’ve had to take me DC to hospital before and when my youngest was a toddler he went twice in an ambulance. First time quite poorly, second time I arrived he was bouncing around the hospital. Absolutely fine. I apologised to the paramedics and the paediatrician who examined him and they said to never second guess or apologise when a child is involved and it is always better to get a child checked out if you are worried.

Firstly, admissions would not reveal this type of info. All they will say is whether xyz patient has been admitted or not and then put you through to the ward to speak to someone. Secondly the likelihood (again) of the nursing staff making that sort of comment is slim.

In your shoes I Would do the following as you have it in writing.

1. Do not (as others have said) look after him alone. Contact is for his father and in all the time I was with my exDP I never looked after his DC or was alone with them for exactly the same reason. His ex was an absolute nightmare.
2. have your DP obtain the hospital records via a SAR. He can get them as he evidently has PR (he will need to prove this).
3. review the notes and it is highly unlikely they say anything negative about you.
4. use those notes/ text to write a factual email stating that the text allegation was in fact false. And it is requested that she make no allegations again, otherwise she will be reported. State that you had been operating in the child focussed fashion.

I’m sorry but women like this are bullies. Nothing more nothing less. Bullies do not respond to silence nor do they respond to taking the higher road.

Get the notes. If they support you, then send something in writing. It can be as hard hitting/ polite as you want. But do not ignore this/ let it go.

You were operating in the child’s best interests and did a good thing. I would take any child in my care into hospital if I thought it was needed. And would expect a thank you. Not a shirty text (oh and keep the text as proof)

Aroundtheworldandback-your post made me sad. It reminded me of when my SD came over covered in make up. She was only about 11. She wanted to look prettier she said. I said she didn’t need make up to look pretty, that she was naturally beautiful. My H asked me to help tidy her up because it was all over her neckline and her eyes were running. She thanked me and hugged me. I really thought we’d experienced a bonding moment and H was really happy. We then went out bowling and had a lovely evening. The next day her mum sends a text.... you guessed it.... SD says you wouldn’t let her leave the house with make up on! That SM shouted at her to go and take that muck off your face! That SM made fun of her! I was beyond hurt, at that point I literally didn’t know what was expected of me anymore. This is unfortunately one incident among many with my SD.

I've had many many lies fed to my dc about me. I'm not a step mum though, I'm mum, it was upsetting/difficult when my dc were younger but I've always remained calm and not retaliated and now my dc are older they totally see their step mum for who she is.
It makes me sad though, as it's caused so much unnecessary heartache over the years.

Oh, SDs dad just invents narratives about me in his head. Convinced that I spent SD9's birthday hiding upstairs playing on my computer.

• I haven't 'played on my computer' since I moved in years ago. But I work in IT so in his head that's what I do with my free time.
• It was sunny but I was indoors talking to my partner's family and playing with the kids most of the time. He was outside smoking with his brother most of the time.
• SD4 was in a particularly clingy phase and baby sister had been born a few weeks early. Normal stuff according to the kindergarten. However, since the girls were going off with him for his weekend and SD4 had said she didn't want to, I subtly waited upstairs right at the end because I thought it wouldn't be nice for him if she came running to cling to me when it was time to go.

He often does that - tells her that "I'm ok but need to step up." She left him largely due to his complete inability to 'step up' to more than drinking and gambling.
I know when these conversations happen because it's the only time I hear her being angry on the phone!

The frustrating thing (to my partner, I let it wash over me to be honest) is that he will always believe his version. He cannot let it go. So in five years he might still bring up "that time NewLevels hid upstairs and played computer games at SDs birthday party" when they talk.

In fairness he doesn't say anything to the girls. He's just got a very... focused and unshakable way of thinking.