How best to support DP with reduced access to his DC

[Butterflyone1]

My DP has three wonderful DC whom he has EOW and once during the week. He's had to take a new job which is further away from his DC (roughly two hours away) so it means seeing the DCs during the week isn't feasible.

I know he is really struggling with this as he misses them so much so I'm wondering how best to support him.

He had no choice but to take this job otherwise he would have been out of a job soon and there are limited jobs available locally.

Things may change in the future where we can live closer to the DCs and then commute in but this will be at a huge financial cost so for now we have to be realistic and settle where we are.

DCs Mum is fine having the children the extra night but of course has mentioned the support payments should increase. This is fine by us.

I'm wondering how the DCs will be affected. The oldest often doesn't want to stay overnight during the week and he'd prefer to be out with his friends (teenager), the middle is usually fine but sometimes prefers to stay home with mum and the youngest loves spending time with her Daddy but is so tired in the mornings as it means getting up earlier than at home.

I know my DP feels so guilty not being able to see his DCs as often but it's a double edged sword. If he didn't work, he wouldn't be able to support them financially.

Reassure him that long-term he may be able to move closer (and possibly seem them more) He's doing the right thing financially supporting the kids- some adults would say 2 hours is too far and remain unemployed or moved 2 hours away.

I has similar with my exh. He took a new job that involved a long commute so midweek access had to stop. Kids who are now 13 & 17 moaned a bit but soon adjusted & now think it was for the best, as in retrospect the midweek doing homework/organizing kit bags/books etc. is so much easier from one house.
Just reassure him everyone will adjust & imo he's doing better by the future proofing his work.

Access is for the benefit of the DC not their parents and it sounds like the midweek arrangement was starting to not work for the DC. It often happens that the feelings attributed to kids are actually adult projection, the main thing is that their mum is on board with the change so if the DC aren't picking up negative/guilty vibes off either her or their dad they'll soon take it in their stride if they know that dad is only reducing contact through necessity rather than choice. He's doing it for the good of both the children's homes.

Thanks both. He is such a wonderful Dad and he constantly feels like he's failing them but honestly he does everything he can to support them (not just financially).

I think the DC are still very resentful for him leaving their Mum (about three years ago) but he had no choice (very unhappy/dysfunctional relationship). They are wonderful kids when he's with them but they very much shut off when he's not with them.