Hi all
First post here even though I’ve been a bit of a lurker for some time .
My partner and I are having trouble with his son, my step son . Up until he left junior school he was a pleasure to be with , loving , funny, kind, brilliant at school and an all round fabulous child . He started secondary school all excited and hopeful as he had always been popular and slot of his old school friends were going . Everything was great for the first two weeks and then bamb! It was like his personality changed over night.
He became sullen , rude , aggressive , in fact he couldn’t have been more opposite from the happy child he was before.
To cut a long story short , his began two years of hell. We talk and talked and talked . It seemed that in the beginning all of his friends splintered off and he didn’t have any friends . It then transpired that this was because he was aggressive and antagonistic. I think he must hold the record for ‘demerits’ and exclusions for pure defiance and fighting . We liaised with the school in a constant basis , called up there weekly for meeting and to sign behavioural contracts. Eventually they suggested the he go to a school that was linked to them , where children go to straighten out . It was sold to us as a good thing but all he learnt was to roll fags , drink beer and smoke weed , oh and fight .
So we pulled him out and sent him back to the original school and the demerits and exclusions started again . Meeting after meeting was had , and eventually it was decided between us and the school that instead of expelling him we would home school him .
Initially everything was fine . Happy house , first time for two years , doing the work I set him and he was back to the happy loving boy he used to be . Two weeks later , off we go again to the point now he literally refuses to do anything .
We have spoken to doctors who have referred him twice to Cahms but they have told us his needs are not severe enough.
We have paid for private councilling. No change . We have spent hours and hours talking to him. No change . Bottom line is if he doesn’t want to do something he won’t which includes school work or behaving . We feel like we are living in a war zone where the dictator is a 13 year old boy .
Oh and I forgot the tantrums , screaming crying banging . And the wind ups , when he has been nasty and caused all sorts of problems especially with his sister (she is 3 years older ) which includes fighting , he will then laugh and sing like nothings happened
The whole family is gobsmacked this is happening and I feel like I’m living in Satan’s house 🙄. Oh and the rows between me and his father are great as well 😡
So , any suggestions ? I will try anything !
Thanks everyone .