Hi all I'm here first time, i guess because I'd like to know other people opinions.I'm sorry if my spellings are wrong ,and if its quiet long too...
Here it goes...
I met my partner over 11 years ago ,he had a son 9 year old who was living with he's mum and step dad.
I quickly got pregnant with my daughter ,then we got engaged and as years went by we have been trough a lot not gonna mention all though as its to much.He's step son got older and he had to keep changing schools as he was quiet troubled child.he used to blame me for not seeing he's dad so much, but that isn't the case he's mum would always say that he's dad has gone to see he's new girlfriend and couldn't come to see you, e.c or that he's busy but she hardly let him see he's son...
So in the end he got released from school at 15 almost 16 as he wasn't behaving well.He had lots of arguments in mums house and our house too whenever he came round.
Then when he turned 18 he's step dad told him to leave house as he didn't go to work either only when he wanted to, and he kept going and coming at late nights at (mums house)and being loud, they have little kids also and that's when they had enough so they told him to leave.He had to move in to our house, and then it all started ...I was pregnant with my second child then, and he was very horrible towards me never tidied up,we always had to tell him ,he's morning was wake up eat and sit on phone all day long and till this day that's the case .
So we all ended up arguing and he decided to move to he's grandads house, but it put really big dint in our relationship sadly .he also made up lies about me that i told him to leave this house which i never did and God knows only what else hes been saying as my spouse most family members became against me , they think I'm this evil step mum which isn't the case, so i swore then that i won't ever going to live with him again because of these lies.
I give birth to our precious 2nd child , and everything started to fall back to normal again very slowly and me and my partner became closer again until recently....
He's grown up son comes and goes as he pleases in our house if he stays here he still goes on he's phone morning till night he doesn't have a job still over a year later ... and lately he has been coming every day or stayed most days which i don't agree on as i think he should be working and doing things with hes life i also don't feel comfortable when he stays as i breastfeed ... and hes not that younger than me so physically i couldn't have given birth to him...maybe i have this resentment towards him because of the lies hes been telling and i always had this feeling he wants to break our family apart ...the other day i told him its me and dads time to spend some time together and he stayed that day till 12 am making sure that won't be the case. in my eyes i feel like he did it on purpose ,i mite be wrong...
But basically me and my partner we have no sex life bcz hes oldest son is always here ....we argue a lot bcz of hes son and since hes son moved out it hasn't been the same for our relationship.i just feel like i have no saying in my own home and i just like to know how can i fix my relationship.should i obay to everything they both do and not moan at all , let them stay till 12 am if they want too? Or should i have some rules as i have 2 young children.. please don't judge me to harshly and sorry if i offended any one. Will wait for some advice ...thank you