Holiday

[Chesneyhawkes1]

DH, SS who is 6 and I are off on holiday for the first time this year abroad.

DH wants to get a one bedroom place and we all share. I'd prefer not to. I've found places that have family rooms, where SS would have either his own room in the apartment or they have a bed in the sitting area.

This obviously means the holiday will cost more. DH seems annoyed I don't want to share. Is this unreasonable?

At home SS never comes into our room or bed. He's never asked to. I don't change it shower etc in front of him ever and tbh I'd feel uncomfortable with it.

Im with your husband.. he is only 6..

I don't think it's unreasonable.

I love my DSS but whenever we go away we make sure there's somewhere I can be alone for an hour or so, which normally ends up being a separate bedroom. As wonderful as DSS is I'm not used to spending 2 weeks with him 24/7 and other people in general (not specifically my SS!) can be really annoying when you're spending that much time together! DP totally understands as I suspect he enjoys having a little break from me after a few days as well

I personally think you'll have a better holiday if you are able to have a little space to yourself.

I'm very much like you @Sunlove. I need my own space from all people 😂

When SS stays here I play with him and hang out but by the end of the day I'm worn out and go upstairs for an hour to watch my tv programmes and chill out.

But I take onboard both opinions. I've said I'm happy to stay at home and they go. Saves me paying a dog sitter for the week.

Why is he insisting on sharing a room?

The cost of the holiday. Not because SS gets scared etc. He's a fantastic sleeper at home.

Surely a one bedroom apartment with pull out bed isn’t that much more than a studio?

I can see why you want separate rooms and some space. Won’t everyone sleep better if you are not all in the same room?

I don’t want to share a bedroom with my own DC on holiday let alone a DSC. Most parents are used to being with their own children pretty much all of the time, but that isn’t the normal level of contact with step children unless you are some out upon unofficial nanny. Being cooped up in one room with my DSC would be too much for me, I would stay at home. I would only share a room with my own for a couple of nights max. It’s not my idea of a holiday!

Urgh I would hate to have to share a room on holiday with my own kids, let alone SCs 😂
I love my children but I don’t want to be with them 24/7. I need an hour or two in the evening or I’d go mental

I've sent him to travel agents to get a better idea of price.

I really don't want to share and would rather stay at home tbh. I don't have children of my own and whenever I look after my friends they wear me out 😂 I don't know how people do it.

Obviously I know it won't be like our usual holidays, me on the beach all day and out drinking in the evening til late and I'm happy with that.

So the idea of my own little space when we are back in the apartment is important to me. I want us all to have a great time.

I don’t have SC but I do have a DS6 I have made sure he has his own room on holiday , we don’t share with him at home I don’t want to share with him on holiday! Plus i think you would all sleep better if he had his own space

We've had some great holidays in our blended family - they've been instrumental in making us feel connected. But in all honesty they've also been some of the most stressful times, as you're in each others company solidly for a week or more. No way would I want to be sharing a bedroom! No adult time to chat and unwind. Sitting in the dark after 6 year old's bedtime. No sex! I'd do it for the odd night at a travelodge if I had to, but not through choice for a holiday. Go to a cheaper location where you can afford a family suite.

Does he not want to have sex the whole time you’re away?

We share a room with my DSC for a couple of nights but any longer and we get separate rooms. Everyone needs space to relax!

I see where you're coming from. If he can't get another room, let him go with his DS.

I would never allow a child (mine or not) to share a room with myself and my partner for a week.
We want sex, intimacy and alone time!

We've never shared a room on holiday with DS unless it was one night un transit. Yes it will cost more than staying in the same room but you get round it by booking flights and accommodation separately or having a different sort of holiday. Usually if there is a living room/ second bedroom there's also cooking facilities which could reduce costs.

I sympathise OP, my BF has 2 kids and I also don't like sharing a room with them when we're away, and we only ever go for a couple of days, so not even the whole week you're looking at. Unfortunately we've always had to do this as OH never sorts out the dates he's having them in the holidays until it's too late to book a reasonably priced Air BnB or similar.

I think it's totally normal not to want to share one room with kids that aren't your own. I'm also not comfortable changing in front of them etc, plus it's so much more convenient in the evenings to have separate space. OH and I end up having hushed conversations in the dark from about 8pm as the youngest is asleep....that's not much of a holiday.

As you've said, this holiday should be enjoyable for everyone, and I'm certainly in the same boat in that sharing a room with OH's kids for a whole week wouldn't be enjoyable for me at all.

I'm glad your OH is going back to the travel agents to look at other options as sometimes having a step-parent in the mix does change things and what he wouldn't even question and would think of as totally normal isn't the case for you.

I'm with you too. If you share a room with DSS, when will you and DP ever get any 'alone time'. Men think in simplistic terms maybe suggest you need your space so you and DP can have you're own private time otherwise none of that will be happening whilst on holiday.

But in all honesty they've also been some of the most stressful times, as you're in each others company solidly for a week or more. No way would I want to be sharing a bedroom! No adult time to chat and unwind. Sitting in the dark after 6 year old's bedtime.

Bang on. This is my reality every time we go anywhere with OH's children, and as a result I don't see those trips as holidays at all. In fact, I find them so stressful that I would rather not go at all.

Thanks everyone.

Pleased to say DH has booked an apartment with a double room for us and a sofa bed thing for SS in the living room.

He hadn't even thought about the evening and sex thing 🙄

All sorted!

Amazing how the prospect of no sex changed his mind

Indeed 😂

He's realised I need my own space too, so have booked a themed place which is fab for kids but with a beach nearby for me, so I can have some chill time.

Great news! Sure you’ll all have a wonderful holiday

I see you're sorted, which is brilliant. When my kids were younger, we sometimes ended up sharing a room if we couldn't get interconnecting rooms or an apartment. It was generally less than ideal.

Once the kids are in bed, you are tied to the room. If they need the light out, which mine did, you either go to bed the same time as them or you are sitting in the dark.

I remember taking a cushion from the armchair and sitting, reading, on the floor in the bathroom in a hotel in Paris. Not the best!