Another will one

[Whatawill]

DH and I need to sort out our wills but I've been avoiding it as I don't really know how we should go about dividing it up. DH has a DD from a previous relationship who is 12 and I have known her for 11 years and have a good relationship with her. We have her EOW generally. DH and I then have 2 DD's together. Between us we have 4 properties.
House A is our family home which we own jointly and I see as equally ours
House B is DH's and his former family home and is now rented
House C is a BTL that belongs to me and is rented
Flat D is a flat I owned when I met then DP and is now also rented.
When my DParents die I will inherit at a guess circa £200k, DH will have v little to inherit from his family and DSD is likely to inherit v little from her mum's side of the family. How would others in our circumstances split this up? DH thinks it should all be split equally between the 3 girls but I don't feel happy with that. I'm reluctant to tell DH this as he would think I was being mean towards DSD.

@stuffedpeppers actually FYI for our family home I put down 75% of the deposit and pay 2/3rds of the mortgage but you will see I stated back in my first post that I see this as our joint equal asset.

OP I think you should do what feels right and nobody has any right to judge.

Let DH split his 50% 3 ways and you split your share 2 ways. It's not about your SC but about your money, your children and your choice.

As others suggestes I would ask GP to skip you and put it in trust for your daughters.

I also 100% get how you feel re no acknowledgement on Mothers Day but expectation that you will provide what a mother should.

Always interesting how these threads develop.
“Not their mum, not your business, don’t you dare overstep blah blah blah”
Then:
“Oh there’s money to be dished out is there? Children of the family, wicked step mother blah blah blah”
Also, what’s with the whole medieval concept that you must happily hand over control of everything that was yours before marriage to your husband to divide as HE sees fit amongst HIS children? No 50/50 equality allowed between spouses but all the children must be treated equally?

But OP has made this about her SDDs attitude and the fact that she resents the way she is treated ande ergo because of that she does not want to leave her .......

Look if DP dies first she can do what ever she wants and on her comments DSD will get v little. If DP dies first it will get split three ways.

I have older SDCs and younger DCs - to be honest we have discussed this already. What we brought in goes to our respectives and anything post blending is split 5 ways. I get on well with 2 of my SDCs, third is hard work but I would no more think of reducing her share on the basis of how I feel she treats me than I would my own pain in the current arse DC.

Umm where have I spoken about DSD's attitude??? What I said was "I am not seen/treated as an equal parent which in general I'm fine with as I feel that is for DSD's parents to do". Stuffedpeppers you seem determined to read something into all of this that isn't there.
I asked a question about how people would set out their wills to which a number of posters have provided helpful constructive advice.

My mum has 3 DC remarried and now have joint Child

Assets we assume will be either spilt 50/4 and 50 going to joint child so 4th child receives 62.5%
OR joint child will get all of it. Mainly because the oldest 3 have homes and children. 4th child is renting and low paid.

I have no resentment towards my sister however it’s split. It’s not my money and not my choice. I won’t fall out with any of my siblings over money.

However, I can only see this being an issue IF life treats one child unfairly while the others are in good jobs rich husbands etc etc then in appears unfair and where issues occur.

I think you need to have a clear discussion and write your will, if your DH refuses then surely if he goes first you decide anyway as it comes to you first?

If you go first your wishes will be adhered to even if in trust until he dies?

Ignore the wind up merchant.

A: 75% between 2 joint DD’s, 25% between 3 DD’s
B: between 3 DD’s
C: between 2 DD’s
D. Between 2 DD’s

Inheritance from your family between 2 DD’s.

House A: You paid 75% of the deposit and you pay 75% of the mortgage - why would you give his DD 1/3 of that? Madness. Your girls share that and the three share their Dad’s 25%. Doing anything else takes away what belongs to your daughters. His eldest daughter has her own Mum.

DH has 3 children, so his goes 3 ways. You only have 2.

His eldest DD has her biological mothers share (whatever that is, is irrelevant) your joint DD’s have their mothers share. Would DSD’s mother be including your Dd’s? No, so why should you include her DD?

I would feel differently if she didn’t have her Mum.

Don’t be afraid to stand up to DH on this. HE has THREE daughters. YOU have 2. Your DSD has her mum. He’s a CF to think YOUR money should be given to his ex wife’s daughter. Ask him how much YOUR daughters will inherit from his ex wife?

It is irrelevant whether his DD inherits a huge fortune or a packet of peanuts from her Mum. It’s not your duty to even it up as it wouldn’t be his ex wife’s duty to share with DD if she had lots of money.

I would have this locked down because I get the feeling that if you got knocked over by a bus tomorrow your DD’s would, at best, be sharing everything 3 ways and at worst with other children if he remarried. LOCK the other houses down so your DD’s get B&C at age x and their share in A&B guaranteed.

Do not blindly trust him to follow your wishes.

If I was your child, I'd be quite miffed that your stepchild was inheriting from my mother
But she isn't their mother's stepchild, she's their sister. I think it's a very odd way to look at it to think the kids would consider her that way

With regards to the properties I would do as others suggest -
A - 1/3 each
B - all to dsd
C- 1/2 each to your dc
D - 1/2 each to your dc

If dh grumbles point out that dsd is benefitting more from your contributions but if he thinks it should reflect your contributions then maybe you should shif dsd down to 1/4 and split the remainder between your dc - suspect he will then change his tune.

Re the money, I would maybe go with something like half gets split in 2 between your dc and then the other half gets split between the 3 of them so that dsd gets 1/6 of the total so that she gets a small lump sum to reflect being a part of your family for a while but not being blood related. Or maybe split the total into thirds - give one third each to your dc and then split the remainder into thirds so that dsd gets 1/9 of the total.

That way she is actively mentioned in your Will, so can’t turn around later and try to demand more. In that vein I would also ensure that you include your reasoning in the Will (or an appendix of it or official supporting letter, as advised by your solicitor) again so it can’t later be disputed.

Depending on your needs and timings might also be worth getting your parents to give the houses to your dc in a trust but that you get any income from them for your lifetime. This could also have the advantage of removing them from your estate so less inheritance tax is due. Hasten to add I’m not any sort of solicitor or adviser, it’s just similar to something my dmum has been suggesting with regards her will. That way you get benefit from the houses but your dh can’t consider them part of your estate.

Sounds to me like this should have been sorted out before you married, OP. Did you sort a pre-nup on who owns what in the event the relationship breaks down or take any legal advice on protecting your own assets?

I have not remarried but it'll be a cold day in hell before any potential step child gets their hands on anything I have accummulated since my divorce!

stuffedpeppers and what's wrong with not giving your money to someone who isn't close to you or doesn't treat you right?

Not that OP said thats the case.

I think it's also important to take the value of the properties into consideration. I would assume (maybe wrongly) that property B is worth more than property D?
I would definitely take advice, but it might be better to take the estate as a whole and split your share 2 ways and your H's share 3?

We do not have a pre-nup and yes in hindsight we should have figured this out earlier but at least we are now heading in the right direction to get something in place.

In terms of values, House A is the most valuable with House B and Flat D being worth the same and House C worth about 50% of B/D.

With the various suggestions people have made DSD would actually end up with the most out of the three of them if House A was split 3 ways and then also was the sole inheritor of House B with my DD's sharing House C and D. This would not bother me and it is about working out how assets are divided in what I feel is a fair manner.

A: 41.5% to each of your DD, 18% to DSD (see details below)

DH’s share is 50%, shared 3 ways = 17% each - I’m rounding up.
Your share is 50% = 25% for each DD.
So DSD gets 17%, your DDs get 41.5% each.

B: between the 3 DC
C: between your two
D. between your two

Inheritance from your family: ask them to skip you so it goes to your DDs.

Keep in mind that if you die first and it all goes to your DH, who remarries and then dies, your DD will get nothing!

B - all to dsd

WTAF HE has THREE daughters, not 1.

Property A is NOT 50% DH’s. It’s 25% DH’s.

With the various suggestions people have made DSD would actually end up with the most out of the three of them if House A was split 3 ways and then also was the sole inheritor of House B with my DD's sharing House C and D. This would not bother me and it is about working out how assets are divided in what I feel is a fair manner

So you have brought FAR more into the marriage than DH, but you would be happy with his DD to inherit MORE from their one parent alone than your JOINT DD’s would inherit from both their parents?!

Seriously?

My example earlier I think is fair.

I am not seen/treated as an equal parent which in general I'm fine with as I feel that is for DSD's parents to do, (although some acknowledgment of my input after 10 years wouldn't go a miss on Mothers Day, all I'd like is a card). Yet somehow I am expected to treat all 3 children the same.

Whatawill sorry I know this is deviating from your OP but is the inheritance issue symptomatic of other issues with your DH? Is he usually grabby? It sounds like you're a bit fed up of being taken for granted.

I think leaving something to someone not related by blood to you has to do with your feelings towards them. So the notion of fairness is very relative.
If you have your SD with you 50/50 or more and/or her mother is not very present, you would probably consider each other more of a family and feel closer as opposed to when she's with you EOW and has an involved mother, so your input is never needed. Also if you had a child from prev relationship, then you and your DH could decide to help both kids from prev relationship. In your case, it's your money that your DH wants for his DD who might not see you as a mother figure.
Do you think your SD would visit you if your DH were to die?
My 12 SD once told me that if (or actually when) me and my DP separate, I won't be in her life. She said the same to my son with whom she always played so nicely. It's probably a stupid childish comment, but I doubt that a child who considers us family (I am the mother of her little brother) would think of saying that as a joke. This and other things don't make me want to leave anything to her. And my DP doesn't expect it either.
The fact that you contribute 75% of the house and she gets 1/3 is already you giving her more and if she grows up a grateful person and knows about it, she would be happy with it.Whatever belongs only to you and your family, I would decide only between my kids and DH's asset, between his kids.

I forgot to add that you could always change your mind later and give her a lump sum if you feel closer to her as she grows up.

Normally I would say not to give your DSD anything because she has two parents to inherit from anyway. But seeing that she's not likely to inherit much at all from either of her parents' families and that you've known her for the vast majority of her life changes things for me a bit...hmm. I'm not sure.

I'm aware that my post doesn't really help at all

Normally I would say not to give your DSD anything

Tacolover, you called me petty on my other post....hmmm. Just because she's the OP's DD doesn't mean she should get "nothing". If the OP felt that she's an equal parent, she could have had a different feeling about what to leave to SD.

Just take a note about how hypocritical you can be.

Tacolover, you called me petty on my other post....hmmm. Just because she's the OP's DD doesn't mean she should get "nothing". If the OP felt that she's an equal parent, she could have had a different feeling about what to leave to SD. Just take a note about how hypocritical you can be.

I called you petty because you came on here complaining about your 12 year old step daughter because she had the audacity to act like a child her age... and say things like "I did it first" when talking about carrying your son on his back and thought it was weird that you let your son pee on the floor. Most people on your thread(which has now been deleted...soo) had the same viewpoint. So take from that what you will.

It's bloody weird that you quoted a part of my post that said I wouldn't give the SD anything then ignored the rest of it where I said that knowing her for so long changes things... and the fact that you've come on here to bring up a previous thread... yeah not petty of you at all.

I said that in a normal case if the SD already has two parents that would give her a lot then why should she inherit from three parents while my biological children only inherit from two?? And how on earth is that petty or hypocritical?

And the OP has said already on this thread that she doesn't feel like she is an equal parent/as much as a parent to her as she is to her biological children. So maybe read the thread

He’s a CF to think YOUR money should be given to his ex wife’s daughter

You mean his daughter. I mean, I agree in principle but she’s not his “ex wife’s daughter” in this context - unless he’s not the father.

The whole thing is sort of irrelevant because the likelihood is that one of you will die first, and then the other can do whatever they want with the lot, as happens so often with blended families. If you feel strongly about your children getting more, you need to put those properties into trust for them or some other safeguard.

Also, what happens if at some point these additional properties are sold and the money combined - how will you work out the split then?

It sounds like whatever happens all of them will inherit a considerable amount of money, none will be badly off after that so I’d be thinking of it as what seems fairest given the relationship status. Some stepchildren are full family members, others have little contact, and this has an impact on perception of these issues.

Whatever happens, keep things as simple as you can and make sure that your DP won’t fuck over your wishes if you go first - my mum’s last husband is laughing his ass off at the amazing situation my mum’s Will left him in, quite literally set up for life. Never needs to work again. The complexities of the will left me with a ridiculous amount of work to do and difficulty just to be able to put her wishes into action and all of her children lost out significantly as a result. It’s left a lot of bad feeling all round. Beware of making things too complex.

My 50% split between my biological children

DH's 50% split between his biological children