Oh Heck ... dh has just asked me if HIS daughter is going to be 20 or 21 this year ....

[clumsymum]

And I can't remember either.

He thinks it's 20 (looking back at what he was doing work-wise around the time she was born).

Mind you, as she has blatently ignored many attempts at contact since Xmas, I'm not sure it matters all that much right now.
I don't know what we have done wrong, but she has not responded to any texts or voice messages left on her phone this year. DH has even asked her mother to ask her to get in touch, but nothing.

What do we do now?

BTW I don't think dh's exw will be impressed if he rings to ask how our their daughter will be.

I wouldn't be either TBH.

Blimey.

what year was she born?

Put the pitchforks away ladies. I forget my own age sometimes, and wrote dd's birthday inocorrectly on a form the other day!

Actually yes. My apologies.

I put our wedding anniversary instead of DS's birthday on a form...

Pitchfork reholstered.

lol my dad never remembers our birthdays either out of three of us he only came to my birth and he only remebers my sis

My form tutor regularly forgot her children's ages and birthdays and once even forgot her own and asked her DH what the card was for!!

Can your DH ring his exw and ask in a round about way how old she is? Like, 'is she doing anything special?' or'can you believe how old she's going to be?' he might be able to work it out from that.

TBH last week I couldn't remember what year we got married (it was 1993 but I had to work it out). Maybe we've got alzheimers or summink.

Anyway, what do we do about the fact that she won't respond to dh's attempts to contact her? Even just to tell us why we have offended (if we have, or if she just can't be *rsed)

my dad NEVER remembers my birthday, and he lived with us till I was about 11.

Erm... presumably he knows where her birth was rgistered? Could he ask for a copy of her birth certificate? It is a public record, i believe, so anyone can look at the register, and if he is named on it, then her should be able to get a copy?

I she on the electoral roll where she lives, think the DOB is on that as well.

his brother might remember. DH won't want to ask him tho', cos he'll get called names for not knowing.

I think DOB is only on electoral roll for the year they turn 18.

I was going to suggest other relatives...

DO you remember when her 18th was? Was there a big do?

just get special daughter card no need to know then!

look on the birth records website-he will be able to track it down so long as he has her full name and an idea of when she was born.

think it's abit sad that he doesn't know.

i have a subscription to a geneology website thsat allows me to look this up-if you cat me with the details i will check for you.

I'd pull out all the stops to try and reestablish contact btw. A letter, a little present, maybe vouchers for her ipod or something and saying some stuff about how special she is.
I would so hate to lose contact with my kids. I know it is more difficult if they don't live with you.

I mean all the above BEFORE the birthday. Just a 'I'm thinking about you' gift etc. Is she at university or working? Either way she could probably do with some cash (as can we all!)

No, her mum took her on holiday for her 18th.

There may have been a 'do' but we weren't invited.

DH and exw have NEVER got over the hurt they both feel, so don't actually communicate.

I'm now pretty certain she's 20 this year.

No, but can you remember when she went on holiday? Is she at University? When did she start? DId she take a gap year?

Or...when did she leave school?

Can you work it out from that?