Would it be weird

[nrpmum]

Or construed as such to write a mother's Day card to my daughter's live in step mum (daughter lives with Dad) to thank her for all that she does for DD. From what DD says the SM does a fantastic job, and is lovely to her and that is all I could wish from a SM to my daughter.

For reference I do not have a good relationship with dd's Dad, but I do recognise he has our daughters best interests at heart.

I always get my exDP's DP (we don't really use 'step' terms yet for some reason) a thank you from me. None of us would mind if DS got her a card or anything but he doesn't suggest it and we don't either as we'd like it to come from him if/when it does. I don't get on with exDP apart from being civil but I think his DP is great (too good for him ) and in another world I think we'd be friends.

My DP has a very different relationship with DS. They pretty much just tolerate each other for my sake, no real issues they just haven't 'clicked'. So I think this makes me even more grateful that she has a good relationship with DS

Wouw, that is so sweet of you!
My SD's mother is nice (I would even say exaggeratedly nice) to everybody, all the exes in her life (hers, her new boyfriend's, my DP's first ex, my DP,...) but never with me. I've been taking care of her daughter for a few years now (she was a SAHM so DP never had to really take care of the daughter and you don't learn that right away, so it was obvious that when we moved in together, it was on me.
Children see how their mother treats the SM and it affects their behaviour. I'm thinking that this obvious coldness towards me affects my SD's behaviour and that affects mine feelings somehow too.

If I were the mother, I would send a card to a nice SM just like you. The more people feel appreciated, the more they give.

Thank you Anuta77.

I sent a note last week. Hopefully she got it in time for Mother's Day.

I think it's a really lovely idea. This is how all step parent relationships should be!