Mothers Day/Birthday gifts

[CuckooSings]

Ex and I have 2 dds. I remarried 5 years ago and have a 3 year old with hubby. Last year ex met and married his wife who has two children.
Ex and i always just sorted our own families for birthdays/Mothers day/fathers day. The girls are 10 and 9 so don't have their own money. SM is utterly lovely and according to the dds has bought me a Mothers Day gift from them.
So now i'm not sure what i'm suppose to do?!? Am i suppose to buy her a Mothers day gift? What about birthday gifts for her and her children? Or Christmas gifts? Its complicated as we don't really do gift buying - the dds get 2 or 3 gifts, adults 1 for birthdays and Mothers Day/Fathers day we don't celebrate. Easter/Christmas are religious festivals. So if i ask the girls they will just look confused as its not something they've ever done bar making cards at school.
I like SM, shes had a hugely positive impact and contact is now regular and ex and SM attend the dds events, so i don't want to get this wrong and offend her. Help!

If you don't celebrate these things I wouldn't start now. She'd probably know from your ex that you don't celebrate. Maybe do something nice for her with your children at a time of your choosing.

I would buy some craft bits and make a nice card with the kids for her.. would be a lovely thought

Yes, I agree with above - do a home made card with kids, or maybe home made cookies or something? Just recognise her contribution but in a way that fits in with how you would do it in your house

I'd make a card with the children and buy a token gift for them to give her.

Homemade card/cookies is a lovely idea for Mother’s Day.

I wouldn’t worry about birthdays/Christmas as your ex should arrange gifts etc for then.

Card and small box of chocs. Your dds would probably feel bad not getting her something which is likely why they have mentioned she has got you a gift from them.

BlueMerchant dd1 is autistic. She mentioned it as she was confused as to why she had been taken to a shop to chose me a gift! She apparently has chosen chocolates she can eat I've sat them down and talked through Mothers Day - their school is really careful and they just make a card for an important woman in their lives so its a concept they've not really come accross. They both want to make cards and as Mothers Day falls on an access weekend have suggested making SM breakfast. So i've text ex to pre warn him.
I also discovered that you can get SM Mothers Day cards in the shops. So if we don't have time to make that'll do as a back up.

You sound lovely. So does she. It's nice when everyone can get on!

in this situation i am the stepmum. slightly different as DSD mum is single and has no1 else that would get her a card/present on behalf of DSD. i always go out of my way to make sure DSD (10) always has her mum a little gift, and a card for occasions like birthday, xmas, mothers day. ONLY because i know if i didnt then her mum wouldnt get anything.

DSD mum never gets me anything or that, nor would i expect her to, as thats where DH steps up.

but its always nice to be nice :)

OneStep2 yes i think being nice is the important bit. I don't do Mothers Day but if SM does then i'll make a fuss. In fact if she wants she can have the dds for the day. Having different approaches is actually going to make contact easier as we clearly care about different holidays so can have the dcs on the ones that matter to us.

@cuckoosings i wish you were DSD mum... you sound lovely