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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Son sharing step sisters password with friend

16 replies

wonderstuff99 · 12/03/2019 20:32

Posted this on internet safety but not getting any replies so I thought I'd try you lovely people as this is really upsetting me.

I'm in a bit of a state of shock tbh. I found out today that my 9 year old son told his friend at school his stepsister's (8) roblox password. Friend then logged in and changed a few things on her account,nothing massive,her avatar clothes and her tagline.
Son swore he hadn't done it and I only got to the bottom when I asked him did he know who had changed it. DS admitted giving him the password but says he didn't tell him what to do. Basically he says the conversation went like this
Mon
D's: My sister is annoying me..her roblox password is....
Tues
Ds friend: I logged into her account

I can't tell what I'm most upset at,the action and sharing of confidential info online (He's saying he didn't tell him to do anything,but admits that by giving the password he knew his friend might do something),the lying or the worry that this is what he does when she "annoys" him.

I'll be writing a letter to his teacher to tell her what's happened and to let the other boys parent know. And I've changed his password on his roblox account as you can't delete them.

He knows he's lost my trust and I'm disappointed, but what else can I do to make sure he understands the severity of his actions. Sure,this time it was a roblox account,next time her address?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

youaremyrain · 12/03/2019 20:38

How did he know her password? Surely if she shared it, she's learnt a valuable lesson

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 12/03/2019 20:39

Has she changed her password?

Original poster

wonderstuff99 · 12/03/2019 20:40

They knew each others passwords apparently. They sometimes log in and play for each other on this website.
I had no idea they did.

OP posts:

Original poster

wonderstuff99 · 12/03/2019 20:40

Yes she changed her password when she came over tonight.

OP posts:

stealthmode · 12/03/2019 20:45

They’ve both learned a valuable lesson.

This is also why parents should never link credit cards to any sort of gaming accounts. Children give out their passwords far more often than you’d like to think.

Littlefish · 12/03/2019 20:50

I'm not clear why you're writing to the teacher? This is nothing to do with school.

Original poster

wonderstuff99 · 12/03/2019 20:54

Because I don't know the other boys parents and they need to know their child has logged into someone's account who they've never met?

OP posts:

Arowana · 12/03/2019 20:54

Your DS did something wrong, but it's the kind of thing that a child wouldn't necessarily realise was that bad. This is a wake up call for you OP. You can use this incident to make sure both kids have a better understanding of online safety!

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 12/03/2019 20:56

It's a teachable moment. Not a big deal, in the grand scheme things. But a chance to teach them about internet safety.

Original poster

wonderstuff99 · 12/03/2019 20:58

Yes agreed,I'm shocked he thought it was ok to tell someone a password. But I have to look at my own behaviour as well as he knows my passwords. I am worried his actions were intentionally mean though,towards his step.sister. I think thats what I'm most worried about.

OP posts:

stealthmode · 12/03/2019 21:05

You’re blowing this out of proportion. Kids do this. And typically it gets found out when a parent gets a whopping credit card bill when said ‘friend’ has bought loads of stuff online.
This is small and caught early and as others have said, a great example of teaching the importance of online safety

youaremyrain · 12/03/2019 21:12

Siblings ARE mean to each other at times

Original poster

wonderstuff99 · 12/03/2019 21:15

Thanks for all the replies. I think I agree that I'm making this a bigger deal than it is. Its uncharted territory for me..is this worse than him pulling her hair? Is this another way of siblings to be mean to each other in the digital age,or is it worse than when I would kick my sister in the ankles?!

Its very hard to know. But I do appreciate your comments.

OP posts:

Arowana · 12/03/2019 21:19

OP, I recommend a book called The Cyber Effect by Mary Aiken. Lots of thought provoking stuff about how we behave differently online, and do risky things when we wouldn’t do the real-life equivalent.

Bambii · 12/03/2019 21:56

I wouldn't over react but make sure he fully understands gravity of it and apologises to his sister. It's a good idea to chat alone with him, maybe take him for a walk, to understand his motivation and be non-judgmental when he tells you. Try to advise him calmly.

I most definitely would not tell the teacher, you could let the parents of his friend know though so the friend gets some kind of disciplining.

Does sound like you need to get more clued up on what your kids do online. Do you have online parental restrictions set up with the internet? That's vital.

LovingLola · 13/03/2019 23:00

I'm shocked he thought it was ok to tell someone a password

He is a 9 year old child. He literally has no idea of the risks of password sharing. He might think he does and you definitely sound like you think he does but he really doesn’t.
You need to think about how you protect your children when they are online.

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