Step sons ex having his baby

[adviceneededpleasetia]

Hello all

I just wanted some advice.

My step sons ex partner is having a baby soon. We've only just found out.

It's definitely his.

As far as we are aware they have split up as she just didn't want to continue the relationship. No cheating or anything as such to bring things to a head. He just wasn't right for her. She ended things with him. They were only together a few months.

She is due in a few months and he is worried. About contact and that's she's being "horrible" to him.

I've explained she will be scared of a lot of things - give her space but let her know you are there to support her through the pregnancy and after if she wants him to.

He absolutely wants to be part of the child's life. As do we. We want to support them both.

I haven't got in touch with her because I don't want to step on anyone's toes ie his mums. But I don't want her to think she can't contact us for support.

I need to just let her come to me don't I? Or tell him to tell her that we are here for them both.

Why don’t you send her a card to say along the lines of congratulations and if she needs anything please let you know.

You’ve then offered an olive branch.

My honest advice is to talk to your stepson and see what he would be ok with. He’s your first priority. He’ll be scared and unsure and you first job is to support him and let him know that you will be there for him. I like the card idea- but run that past him first.

If she’s being ‘horrible’ to him (and who knows what been said between them), and you contact her without him knowing, that could cause a rift.

Your priority is him, supporting him and if he is ok with you contacting her, then by all means do. But operate as a unit with full transparency with him. If he asks you to back off, then you’ll have to respect that.