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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Step Child Classed as a Dependant?

23 replies

Helena112 · 31/01/2019 19:46

Hello all!
My partner and I are filling in a mortgage application. His daugter is with us 3-4 nights a week. Her mum claims all of the child tax/benefits. We pay for all of her clubs and lots of other things. Does she count as a dependant on our forms?! Or her mothers as she is the ones who claims all of the extra?
Thank you

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Blendingrock · 31/01/2019 20:13

What the mother does or does not claim is irrelevant to your mortgage application. What the financial institution want to know is what your outgoings are, i.e. your day to day living expenses/what you spend your money on. They want to know you can afford your mortgage repayments. If your SD is with you 3-4 nights a week and doesn't have her own money, then yes, she's financially dependent.

user1493413286 · 31/01/2019 20:14

Yes she counts as a financial dependent for both parents

HugeAckmansWife · 02/02/2019 20:58

Presumably there is maintenance being paid so either way she is a dependent yes.

Apairofnavygloves · 02/02/2019 22:59

When doing ours we were told by our IFA that we didn’t we didn’t have to include his children as dependents. We have them 4 days a week.

NChangeForNoReason · 03/02/2019 08:07

Maintenance is an outgoing from a financial assessment perspective but child isn't a dependent as they do not live with you (and financially they are provided for via the fixed maintenance payment)

I think If you were 50/50 and didn't pay maintenance then they would be a dependent.

JaesseJexaMaipru · 03/02/2019 08:32

She's a dependent either way. If you pay maintenance then obviously she's dependent as her living costs come out of that maintenance. If you don't pay maintenance then obviously she's a dependent as that means she's living with you enough that you & DP are covering your fair share of her living costs.

Don't try to manipulate the answers to these questions to maximise your borrowing amount. Furthermore - don't borrow the maximum that the bank will lend you. You should be more risk averse than any bank, because if your finances take a wobble the bank just takes a tiny dip they will soon recover from, but you could be financially ruined.

Fill in the forms showing her as a dependent, don't massage down any of your outgoings and commitments, if anything overestimate them. Then limit yourself to 90% of the amount they agree you could borrow.

SarahH12 · 03/02/2019 09:33

We were advised by the mortgage person that DSD is not a dependent unless 50:50 care and no maintenance. Maintenance will be put down as outgoings though that's very separate to the dependence question.

NChangeForNoReason · 03/02/2019 11:20

@SarahH12 totally agree and we were advised the same.

lunar1 · 03/02/2019 12:58

Is it just me that thinks it's awful that a step child can be seen as not a dependent. That's one of the most depressing things I've read.

NChangeForNoReason · 03/02/2019 14:23

@lunar1 there is a fundamental difference between having a child live at a separate address to you whereby you pay for their upkeep on a regular basis which is considered (by mortgage lenders) to be a financial commitment and "outgoing".
AND
Having a child reliant on you for love, support and moral guidance in order to transition into a caring considerate member of society.

Most Children get the latter from both parents equally regardless of their postal address. However in this instance, The OP is referring to the former as they are trying to get a mortgage.

Whatafrickennightmare · 03/02/2019 17:21

We were told dss is not classed as a dependent as does not live with us but had to put down maintenance paid for outgoings.

Lemmon · 03/02/2019 17:22

We were advised the same as @SarahH12 it's so the money isn't double accounted for as we put the maintenance and any extra outgoings for them under the outgoings.

Crystalintheeyes · 03/02/2019 18:43

I had the same advise as SarahH12.

Not a dependant.

Musicalstatues · 03/02/2019 18:52

We have recently remortgaged.
Maintenance was listed as an outgoing but dsd was not classed as a dependent.

Itsallpeachyfornow · 04/02/2019 00:58

@lunar trying to cause conflict again.. how depressing

cliffwalker · 04/02/2019 07:12

This is slightly off-topic...

I went to a divorce lawyer a few months ago to discuss divorcing DH. I was quite shocked to learn that as I had been mostly caring for and financially providing for DSD during the last few years of our marriage, in the event of divorce she would likely be considered MY dependent.

It doesn't matter particularly, I would never pull the plug and it's likely she'd choose to continue living with me anyway (she's a teen) but I do wonder how many DSP's realised that in providing for their DSC, they were setting a precedent that had long term financial implications.

Anyway, nothing to do with mortgages but thought it might be of interest to some!

Surfingtheweb · 04/02/2019 07:39

If you pay the mum child maintenance then you do not put the child down as a dependent as when doing the affordability test they will use the maintenance money & the calculation of what it costs to have a dependent - basically that's double counting one cost.

stuffedpeppers · 04/02/2019 09:17

This is so depressing and there is always the potential for any child to change main resident parent for multiple reasons.

This effectively gives other NRP the ability to say - no you can not come because our mortgage does not allow us to have a dependent. That people even think that they are not is beyond me. Whilst I get the legalities, the moral part of the NRP saying their children are not their dependents has such a huge mental barrier for me.

As far as my EX is concerned and he is as flaky as they come with regard to his off spring - he was asked about dependents on his mortgage and said 3. There was no question in his mind that they are his dependents regardless of current home location.

NChangeForNoReason · 04/02/2019 13:20

@stuffedpeppers your mortgage can't stop your child from living with you!!!!

Banks ask for details of your outgoings to perform an affordability assessment. This decides if you can afford to pay back the mortgage on a monthly basis.

After you have purchased ur house, If u decide to move ur kids in, YOU CAN - the bank do not stipulate which of ur family members are allowed to live there.

However, if u fail to keep up ur mortgage payments due to increases outgoings, your house could be repossessed.

It's not sad in anyway - it's basis household financial management.

stuffedpeppers · 04/02/2019 16:50

NChange - I am not that stupid but thanks for the patronising comments.
on this forum, you see so many reasons given for why a SDC can not live in the new NRPs house - this actually gives it some basis.

I have more an issue with any parent being able to say their child is not a dependent in principle. A child is your dependent until they are ........., usually 18 or more likely nowadays forever!

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 04/02/2019 21:20

We didn’t put DH’s two kids on our application, just my DS. It showed his maintenance payment though. Our broker said that was fine and we were approved. Use a broker if you aren’t already, they will save you loads in the long run.

HeckyPeck · 10/02/2019 11:35

We were advised by the mortgage person that DSD is not a dependent unless 50:50 care and no maintenance.

Same here.

you see so many reasons given for why a SDC can not live in the new NRPs house

I rarely see posts like this in here. Maybe than one poster who comes back time and time again, but other than that, most on here are trying their best to make things work.

And I would bet a million pounds no one has ever used their mortgage application as a reason not to have their step kids live with them 😂

HerondaleDucks · 10/02/2019 12:00

I think this question is purely about the application of a mortgage... not classing a step child as not important enough to be a dependant.
Christ alive, if they only have the usual contact with the dsc then it's going to be eow and holidays. Most rp complain about the idea of 50/50... It's not realistic that a child on the eow and holidays contact is a full time dependant is it?
Why do posters jump on this so savagely? It was a practical question.

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