Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Original poster

New baby and bedroom allocation

19 replies

TooSkoolForKool · 26/01/2019 16:25

So to keep things short and sweet I have two DSC, DSS is 11 and DSD is 9. Me and DP are expecting a baby boy in April. DSC stay 40% of the time and half of the holidays.
We have a three bedroom house but due to the size of the box room both DSC have shared a room quite happily as they have more space and enjoy it.
Now my dilemma, DSS is getting too old and reaching that age whereby he can't really share with DSD anymore. However feel it would be unfair for DSS to share with a baby/toddler?
So what would the ideal situation be here? Do I keep older DSC together as they get on well and are similar in age and give baby his own room or do I make the boys share and DSD gets her own room?
Neither seems ideal IMO however until we can afford to upsize we are going to have to make do. Obviously baby will be in with us for the first 6 months so have a little time to work this out.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Doyoumind · 26/01/2019 16:31

There's a good chance your baby won't be sleeping through at 6 months. You can't put a crying baby in with an 11yo. It's not fair. Is there any chance of moving in the near future?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 26/01/2019 16:34

do you really need to move the baby in with one of the DC at 6 months? You could keep the baby in with you for a couple of years and save up to move to a bigger place.

Original poster
TooSkoolForKool · 26/01/2019 16:34

There is but not for at least a year or two. Do you think DSC will be fine sharing for another year or would we be pushing it? At present they are fine with the sleeping arrangements, taking it in turns to use the room for privacy etc and the bathroom for changing of the bedroom is already in use. It's not ideal but I really don't know what is best

OP posts:
RagingWhoreBag · 26/01/2019 16:35

If it was only occasional I’d say DSCs can share but as it’s their home around half the time, they should have their own rooms as they get older. If anyone is going to be ok sharing/not having privacy etc it’s going to be your baby, so for now you need to suck it up and just accept that the baby doesn’t have its own room until you can afford to move or extend. If the largest bedroom (whether that’s yours or the DSCs at the moment) could be divided into two that could be a solution.

Original poster
TooSkoolForKool · 26/01/2019 16:37

@ILoveMaxiBondi both me and DP work shifts so once my Maternity leave ends ideally baby wouldn't be in with us as we wouldn't want to disturb him coming and going in the middle of the night etc.

OP posts:
shouldwestayorshouldwego · 26/01/2019 16:37

I would ask them. I think it is fine for a year or two by which time you might have moved or baby might be sleeping through.

Beamur · 26/01/2019 16:38

Keep the baby in with you for now. Could you extend into the roof space for an extra bedroom?

LL83 · 26/01/2019 16:42

Keep the older ones together for am extra 2 years. Not ideal but ok and better than either of them sharing with a baby.

Doyoumind · 26/01/2019 16:46

I don't think you would disturb the baby. You should keep him with you if you plan to move in a couple of years. You can use the DSC's rooms to get ready in if they aren't there, or the bathroom if you are worried about disturbing the baby. I think you need to give them a room each and take the hit yourself for the time being.

williteverend99 · 26/01/2019 16:46

Can you partition one of the bedrooms. Does not have to be expensive. You can use those IKEA room divider cubes

Original poster
TooSkoolForKool · 26/01/2019 17:04

A room divider is a good idea!!! Thanks for all the suggestions. I better get saving 👍🏻

OP posts:
Spanglyprincess1 · 26/01/2019 17:12

We have this issue and can't afford to move but three DSC, two boys and one girl and a six month old baby who is ours. My dp earns very little and I cannot finance a larger house alone in a good school catchment for baby.
So we have the DSC the choice, all three share a very very large double (5ft by 4) with a room.devider or one of them have a sofa bed in dining room as a bedroom. They decided what suited them best and that's what we are doing. Baby is having the box room as he's big, noisey and lives with us full time so needs his own room. Anything else would be totally unafir on him and we need to store his neverending plastic toys.
Could you do similar if you ahve a dining room or again as previous posters suggested use a room devider. Lots and lots of children share with siblings due to housing being expensive.

Tiredeyes21 · 26/01/2019 17:21

When we were kids we lived in essentially a tiny flat above my parents business. We slept in the living room but this wasn’t ideal so as got older there was a curtain that divided the room off.. eventually when finances allowed my parents put a stud wall up to give us some privacy but we still shared. It worked and we didn’t mind!

Itsallpeachyfornow · 26/01/2019 20:55

I don't see any problem with your two stepchildren continuing to share a room, I shared with my two siblings for most of my teenage years and we were so close. Give your baby a room so you and your partner have space and your stepchildren don't have to be disturbed.
Stepchildren you say are happy so why change it and you are both going to need as much sleep as you can and baby in a routine.
Congratulations how exciting Flowers

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 26/01/2019 21:57

I’d actually keep the baby in my room for the first two years, however I know not everyone wants to do that. I’d give the older kids more space if you can they need it more.

Ferro5by5 · 29/01/2019 16:57

We had a similar situation. We kept my baby daughter in with us for just over a year and then trialled her sharing with my stepdaughter. We kept a travel cot in our room as a back up for if she was having a bad night and she had her daytime naps in there so my stepdaughter didn’t feel restricted in the daytimes. It worked better than we hoped and seemed to really strengthen their bond. Might be a different ball game with boys though.

Charlottejade89 · 05/02/2019 17:20

My dp has 3 DC, 2 ds aged 16 and 8 and dd age 15 and we gace a 6 month old. We have a 3 bed house and the oldest sleeps on the sofa and dsd and youngest dss share a room. The baby has the box room as she lives here full time. They're fine about it because they have to share at their mums as well as they have another baby sister at home too. It's not ideal but we can't justify getting a 5 bedroom house for when they stay over eow, and the oldest 2 don't always stay now because they want to do this as with their friends/ dss sees his gf

WhiteCat1704 · 05/02/2019 21:16

SC continue to share and put a room divider in or one of them get a sofa bed in the dinning room downstairs.

Baby living with you full time should have their own room. You may want to set up his room up too...So baby gets the box room.
As for keeping him with you-mine slept a lot better in his own room. So he left ours at 5months and it was the best decision.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.