Anybody ever had to go to social services?

[TropicalStorm123]

I’m just looking for some advice please.

We have some serious concerns about DSC, in particular the youngest of two children.
I don’t want to go in to too much detail for several reasons but just to give a brief outline on the situation - DSS has emotional/behavioural problems and the ex has been saying that he didn’t want to come to our house, not for any particular reason but mainly because he doesn’t like change. So for the last year we’ve hardly seen him but DH has been speaking to him on the phone often. He’s recently started visiting us again and we’re seriously concerned about his health and well-being, again I don’t want to go in to detail just in case this post is seen by her as there’s potential this could end up in a court case.
But there are clear and indisputable signs of neglect, we’re seriously worried about him.

My main concern is that his mum hasn’t mentioned these concerning things to us, she doesn’t seem bothered about it.

The family already have a social worker involved with them, DH and I know we need to speak to them but we’re worried that if she knows it’s us that she’ll stop DS (or both kids) from coming to us.
We now think maybe she was stopping him from coming maybe to hide him from us, so we couldn’t see that he’s being neglected.

I know that we can make an anonymous report to SS but the things we would say would make it pretty clear it’s come from us.
At least whilst DSS is coming to us we can keep an eye on him and try and treat the issues in the little time we have.

It sounds so simple “report it to SS” but we’re just worried about the repercussions.

Has anybody had a similar situation? Did SS take it seriously? I know if they look at him they will be able to see what we’re seeing. But she’s a good liar, I’m worried she’ll be able to wriggle her way out of this and just stop DSS from visiting again.

What an awful situation. Poor kid.

Everything that @toosassy says - I’m not qualified to comment. And if possible lots of contact with the child, anyone the child knows. Build up a case carefully but don’t ignore this.

Thank you @toosassy that’s really helpful info.
I definitely plan to keep things about the child, the last thing we want is for this to turn in to a slanging match, we just want social services/doctors to look at his health and determine whether we’re right to be so worried about him. If we’re wrong we’ll leave it at that.

Before you even consider SS talk to your Childs GP and ask, as a parent with parental responsibility, for details of any medical professionals with care.

Phone the Secretarys/clinics of those professionals and ask for details of any pending appointments. Ask for duplicate copies of any paperwork sent to mum.

Many agency's involvement and ex was still claiming nothing was wrong, i was blocking his contact medical with medical professionals. If hed been involved with any part of the process hed have known that he was on the records, he only needed to add his adress for info to be sent to him. He ad to do a rapid vault face when in the run up to court he did actually attend a meeting to be faced with 5-6 meducal professionals.

Nowadays hospitals ask for the name of all other parents with care. If she hasnt given it, it add to your case. But frankly im skeptical of any NRP we says their ex us blocking medical contact.

It simply isnt legal abd sustainable to do that

With apologies for the typos

Hi its hard to tell from whst your saying as it seems like your saying they may possibly be a guenuine medical cause of what is corncerning you ? just on the point of his medical records you will have to do a subject access request but obviously I'm assuming the gp will not know he is the father so you will have to prove it. Just a heads up they won't realise medical records to a stranger who rings up to ask for them I'm assuming mum will be down as next of kin and they wont have record of who is dad is. I just wanted to let you know this as if you don't address it they may contact mum to confirm is this his father. Good luck and I hope your stepson is ok

If you just want to look at paperwork you dont need to do a subject access request. If you have parental responsibility you have a right to see the information, you need to do a subject access request if you want to take the documentation out of the surgery.

So if you were in an appointment and wanted to see a childs notes you have a right to do that. You'd need a subject access request to copy the paperwork or remove it from the room.

You may need to prove parental responsibility with a birth certificate or court order. If you havent got the birth certificate, official certified copies are easy to obtain.

Noone can block you from attending appointments or receiving medical information

As your DP has parental responsibility he has the right to attend all of the meetings children's service hold about his children, and should get the minutes, copies of assessments and plans. He should call the social worker tomorrow and ask for these documents and for the time and date of the next meeting. He should also ask for a meeting with the social worker to discuss his children and current children's services involvement.

Why is making an application for a child arrangement order not an option? If my DC lived with my ex partner and I thought that they were being neglected or were at risk, I would be seeking a child arrangement order for them to live with me and not just waiting to see what children's services do.