Savings for Step Child- advice

[HerondaleDucks]

My dsd turned 13 recently and I've been thinking about her future.
Her father is a relatively low earner and mum pays next to nothing towards both children.
I was wondering whether it would be ok to start setting aside £10 a month until she turns 18 and then give it as a lump for her to go to uni or whatever she needs to do.
It wouldn't be much but it would be something. I just wondered whether this would be appropriate if I do it. Do you think this is ok to do? Or should I just leave it to my dp?

Sounds like a lovely gesture go for it OP

I don’t think it would be inappropriate at all.

Why not if it’s something you want to do :-)

It's a nice thing to do but bear in mind she will be able to spend it on whatever she likes. You might be thinking of university but she might want a holiday in Ibiza....

As long as you're aware you can't compel her to spend it on something 'worthy', go for it!

Thanks all. Didn't know whether this was a parent only thing to do. Well aware that she could spend it on a holiday etc but she has mentioned several times about learning to drive when she's 17 and I thought it could go towards driving lessons and potentially a car. Either way it would be up to her what she does with it. But as long as it's not a terrible idea and you all don't think her mum would go nuts? I've spoken to DP and he thinks it's a great idea and he will try to match it every month too.

Go for it. You don't have to actually hand it over in a grand gesture once she hits 18, it could easily be a situation where she talks about getting driving lessons/studying or working abroad/something else that would be good career wise and you say DSD I have some money put by in case you should ever need it for something important.

Oh that's a good idea!

@HerondaleDucks love this idea and might actually pinch it myself.

You're very kind and thoughtful.

That's really thoughtful of you. We do the same here for DSD. All of our accounts are joint so we put in money every month from our joint account. Does her Mum even need to know? We haven't told DSD or her Mum as we think her Mum will probably just say "if you can afford to put money in savings you can afford to give me more maintenance"

We saved up money in our own accounts earmarked for when DSD got older and more expensive! So money for driving lessons etc came out of that.

£10/mth over 5 years is £600. It wouldn’t go far for uni, but would be a nice lump sum for driving lessons or a holiday or similar. You could just save it in your name and then write her a cheque for her 18th birthday.

I know 600 isn't much but I thought it would be better than nothing. However dp is on board and says he will set aside £10 a month too. So that should make a bigger lump than I'd previously thought.

Glad everyone thinks it's a good idea. Its such a minefield I was worrying it would be over stepping.

I pay £20.00 pm into each of my 3DSS savings accounts, and my DP does the same. They also get a cash lump sum from my parents each Christmas, (they do this with my nieces, and give the DSS some too, but this is less). Which I also put into their savings account. I set it all up, and my DP was happy.

We haven’t told the DSS mum though. My DP use to pay into a savings account they had since birth. However we have now learnt that this money, plus other money for DSS has been withdrawn and spent by their M.

They use to also receive money in cards for Christmas / birthdays from DPs family, this money was never received by the DSS and never put into their bank. All DPs family now give us the money directly and we put this into the accounts we hold.

The eldest DSS even brought his birthday money (£80) which he had received from M’s family, and asked us to put it in his bank. (He is aware of it, as we discuss the importance of savings, and I’ve taken them to the bank to put money in before). His M went mad, saying it was “her” money to deal with. We ignore it and followed the DPs wishes, I think he is just wise that it gets spent.

Don’t worry about doing something for their future. Many SMs do, and it’s a lovely gesture, no matter of the final sum.

I have recently set up NS&I Junior ISAs for both of my daughters, but want to also set one up for OHs son.
His ex is a bit funny though, and she won’t let OH have his birth certificate (says he simply has no need for it so she’s keeping it safe) and we would need it to set up his own account in his own name.
For now I’m getting round it by just putting what I put the girls account in to my own savings account, and then when he’s old enough to use it hopefully he will have his own bank account and I can transfer it over. I wouldn’t trust transferring it to his mum as she already spends his CB and CTC on hair and nails!

@stan18 we got copies of the birth certificates for my DSS from the records office. They are the large copies. This is how we got their passports and opened their accounts.