Toddler Step child claiming everything bought for newborn

[Busted1979]

I understand this isn’t the worst of problems to have but it is something that is really starting to annoy me so I’m wondering if I’m being silly or if other people have felt the same

My partner has a 7 year old from a previous relationship who stays with us every weekend , she’s a great child and we have an amazing relationship however, she is very, very spoilt this is something I’ve always bit my tongue on and I think because my boyfriend and his parents don’t get to see her whenever they want (the mum is awful- banned he family from seeing her at one point) they make up for the time they have with her by buying her everything .

So recently my partner and I have had a 3 month old daughter , her step sister is great with her, loves her, however EVERYTHING we have bought for our new baby she claims as her own my boyfriend just see’s it as sharing which I understand but it’s driving me crazy, this child has ALL the toys in the world, Barbuda a Nintendo switch every board game ever I don’t understand why she wants to play with a baby’s scrunch butterfly or her soft book, I come downstairs in the morning and she’s laying in the baby’s babygym ? Despite being 9 times too big for it , any soft toy we’ve bought for the baby she cuddles and takes to bed with her despite having a full basket of her own bears and soft toys here !
I must sound horrible but I shouldn’t have to ask for something back off a 7 year old when I need it for the baby, she even takes her blankets and uses them on her despite us having 2 adult size throws in the living room that we use I know it sounds mean but I want them to be the baby’s own I want them to have her smell so she familiarises with them

I’ve tried talking to my partner and he completely dissmisses me and thinks I’m being silly help !

[BertieBotts]

The book Siblings Without Rivalry might really help.

[Newmumma1979]

She’s definitely not overlooked but I understand your point I constantly play games with her , we bake cakes together I take her shopping with me and the baby she is very involved and like I said we have an excellent relationship

The dad and her have plenty of alone time as he sees her in the week also

Thank you for all the sharing advice like I said I was aware I might be being silly some people are being rude for no reason
I’m not at all bothered about them sharing toys it’s when she has her blankets and we’re about to go out in the pram etc or when she needs changing or a noisy toy that helps sooth her etc sorry if I worded it wring

[goldengummybear]

Are you an only child OP? This is totally normal behaviour from your sd, Your dd will probably do the same if she has a younger sibling.
She is trying to get adult attention (normal) by diverting you from her sibling (normal). She needs lots of reassurance because this is a massive change in her life and it will take her time to realise that everything is great. Your dd doesn't realise that this is happening yet so you need to chill until she's mobile and the sisters fight over the same object.

[Anuta77]

My SD who is 12 also plays with our baby toys, I even hear her making noise with them while she's taking a shower. She plays on his little piano, guitar or anything that makes noise. She also used to lay on his playmat. I also found it a bit annoying (especially when she was touching the buttons with her feet), but it's true that our now toddler (15 months) also wants to play with her phone (the only "toy" she brings to our house) or my older son's toys. My older son who's 10 is not interested in the little one's toys. I guess it depends on their personalty, SD likes to pretend sometimes that she's a baby and constantly asks her father 1) if he was doing with her whatever he's doing with the little one and 2) what was she doing when he was doing it. It's also a bit annoying, but we just have to be patient. My 10 y.o doesn't ask that.

Don't pay attention to the rude posters, I guess judging makes them feel good about themselves....

[DrWhy]

My 2 year old lays on his 7 week old sisters playmat, he also wants to lay in her cot, play with her toys, go to bed with one of her blankets instead of his duvet and even spent a week or so wanting to wear a sleepsuit to bed instead of pjs. I think it’s prettu normal. We’ve dug out some extra baby blankets so he can sleep under one, we have some toddler sized sleepsuits we were given for him when he was younger if he wants them and and generally let him get on with it with the toys. If he had something we needed for the baby I’d try the same tactics to take it off him as I would if he was playing with something I needed for any other reason like the oven gloves for example - the techniques for a 7 year old will be different to a 2 year old.

[BertieBotts]

My 10yo was laid under the baby's musical gym today playing with the toys and giggling away It's just daftness and novelty. Annoying, yes, but much much better than aggressiveness or jealousy towards the baby - embrace it :)

[WhiteCat1704]

Well it might be "normal" but it's not right. I have 8years older sister who ALWAYS took anything nice I ever got...She would "borrow" and never give back..She was still doing it as a teenager. She felt entailed to it, probably because parents thought it was normal too and never stopped it.

If your SD doesn't stop in next few months you should intervene and explain boundaries. I wander if your DH will be all about sharing once it's you toddler DD takind SDs toys to play with.

[LollipopCakeThing]

If your SD doesn't stop in next few months you should intervene and explain boundaries. I wander if your DH will be all about sharing once it's you toddler DD takind SDs toys to play with.

Bit mean to a 7 year old who is behaving like a normal 7 year old.