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Step-parenting

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Family Courts

27 replies

stokieginge · 03/12/2018 10:35

Has anyone got any experience of going to the family courts to get child arrangements set in stone?

After a brief chat with @Zampa was interested to see if others had.

OP posts:
stokieginge · 06/12/2018 15:40

@Bananasinpyjamas11 we did this back in April. Me & her have always been civil - I don't think she knows that we've always shared everything from day one so I've seen all the abuse she gives to him.

So in April she did the standard last minute thing - it was a birthday party( That's she'd known about for weeks). She gave us 2 days notice, DP said we needed noticed as DSC goes to ballet, and on our weekend we always make plans so really she should check with us first, before telling DSC that it's okay to go (if it's on our weekend). She then got DSC (5 at the time), to ring my DP and tell him that she hates going to ballet and that she never wants to go again, and she only wants to go to the party (DSC doesn't hate ballet, that's the first thing she asks when she gets picked up, how long until ballet).

So said he was going to take her to court to get everything in black and white to prevent this from happening, cue me getting a call from Mum. It was decided that between us (DP was happy), that Mum & I would now communicate. This meant to more abuse being sent to DP, which made our relationship better. And it has been on the most part better. It was agreed that anything that affects our weekend we need to be informed ASAP. And should it conflict with DSC lessons that we pay for, that it would need to be made up on a weekend that wasn't ours.

Cue September & Mum gets married. At this point I've known it's on or weekend for nearly 12 months (handy little calendar). Mum tells us 3 days before - and only because I messaged her to ask as it actually started giving me anxiety because she still hadn't told us and I really wasn't sure when she was going to. Her reply 'oh yeah forgot it was your weekend'.

She's since booked her honey moon, and she sent a message to us (we now have a group WhatsApp) saying 'we're going on holiday on x,y & z dates, between the two of you, you will have to figure out have DC'.

At no point did she message to say 'we're thinking of booking a holiday would it be okay to have DC whilst we're away'. Baring in mind, both myself & DP work full time and start work latest 7:30. This holiday is also over a weekend that isn't ours (usually wouldn't mind, but it's the weekend after our birthdays - we have DSC on our birthday weekend) so the weekend would have been the one we would have celebrated on.

I could go on 😂😂😂

OP posts:
Bananasinpyjamas11 · 06/12/2018 16:09

I guess if it’s not court you might have to change tactic and just say, changes haven’t worked for the past few years, they are last minute and really disruptive - from now on it’ll be these eow and these holidays. Here is the calendar for the next 12 months. Any changes tell us before Christmas - and no other changes will be made. And stick to it. Whatever happens.

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