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Step-parenting

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When you have fights with DP...

5 replies

Anuta77 · 08/11/2018 17:52

If you're not a custodial SM, are you still included in things like SC birthdays, plays, etc.? And is your DP still the same with your kids?

From time to time, me and DP have a big fight and then suddenly, it feels like I should have nothing to do with SD and he has nothing to say to my son (who lives with us full time). He just works in the basement, takes our baby when I need to drive my son to school (otherwise, he was driving my son while I was with the baby). So my son comes from school and barely sees him before going to sleep.

Tomorrow is SD's 12's birthday and he wants to go see her for a couple of hours (she has an evening class later in the evening) and on Sat, he and EW organized a party in an amusement center.

DH is not talking to me, so I don't know how to congratulate SD. Her mom ignored my last couple of texts (while telling DP that she would have answered if she got it, apparently in response to what SD told her, don't really know how she knew), so I don't want to do it through her and I don't want anyone to know about our fight either.

Would you still text the EW? (She texted my DP to congratulate him with our 1 y.o birthday). Or how would you explain to SD who is supposed to come here the weekend after why you she hasn't heard from you on her bday? Unfortunately, DP gets very immature at times....

OP posts:
Bernina · 08/11/2018 17:57

Can you not give your DP a present and card from you and say give this to SD when you see her? I understand you've fallen out but surely he'll still pass on a card?

SandyY2K · 09/11/2018 02:11

Can you send it to her mother's house?

We're you never invited to the party? Or are you not going because he's not talking to you?

I suggest when you start talking...you reach an agreement that as far as all the DC are concerned ... your interactions with them remain the same even when you aren't talking.

swingofthings · 09/11/2018 05:31

Assume dsd doesn't have a phone yet. Indeed card in the mail, présent if you want when she comes.

As for the ex, what did you text her? It is likely she didn't respond because she knew or guessed about the argument and didn't want to agree anything that went against what he wanted.

HeckyPeck · 09/11/2018 09:34

I think the bigger question here is what can you do about the fights that end up with you not speaking to each other for days? That’s not a healthy (or happy) way to live and it must be an awful atmosphere for everyone in the house.

Santaispolishinghissleigh · 09/11/2018 09:36

Doesn't sound much of a dp /df having you and the dm organising stuff while he is sat sulking.
I had a man child dh...
Had.
Best thing ever getting rid.

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