As some of you remember, my DP has very good relationship with ex wives who make efforts to be friendly with him. And the children are used to it and expect it. If I don't follow this, I would be the strange/mean one.
ExW#2 and me didn't get on very well at the beginning (civil but cold), but over the past 2 years we made efforts. We had a few opportunities to talk, I invited her to my baby shower (because of SD, but still), then to visit the baby (again, because of the kids), helped her for SD's birthday party, etc.
My DP only has SD EOW, because we live in the suburbs and he considers that children should be mostly with the mother, so he also visits them at the mother's places EOW when SD is not there. So because of that, I came with him a few times to visit SD too. It's a normal thing for them, that's what exW#2 did when DP was with exW#1. They are all Cuban, so maybe it's a cultural thing, I don't know.
I haven't visited since Feb for different reasons, but we never had any open issues (I didn't like something, but didn't tell anyone other than my DP who doesn't talk about these things). I have to add that exW#2 can be exaggeratedly nice when she wants, sending hellos when it's not necessary, telling my DP that she's family on father's day, etc. She has a boyfriend and it seems to be going very well.
So....this summer SD seemed desperate for her mother to meet or get to know our baby. She asked if we can pass by and show him to her. I told her that her mother can visit herself if she wants. At another moment, she was whining for DP to send some picture to her. Then I basically decided to send a picture of SD and our baby to exW#2 (to please SD and I told her). I have sent her a pic because, a while ago and received a good response. She herself sends pictures to DP and it seems like a normal thing.
Well, she didn't answer. One week later, DP goes to visit SD, exW#2 told him, in front of her boyfriend and her kids, something along the lines that if she got my message (it was just a pic with a comment that didn't require any elaborate answer), she OF COURSE would have answered. The way it sounded, my DP thought that I sent her messages complaining about her not answering! I don't know what SD told her, nor her exact words to DP, but I guess it was a message to me, so I texted that I didn't understand her message. No answer.
I have to add that she hates not getting answers to her texts/calls. When she calls and gets no reply, she calls back right away. Just last month when it was my baby's bday, she sent a message congratulating DP (who always says that birthdays are a mother's celebration, not the person's and she must know it) in the morning, then called at 2 pm to check if he got her message because he didn't answer.
So basically I don't know what to make of it. In my mind, if she chose not to answer, ok, but she did answer....MY DP! Which to me is ignoring me twice. If SD told her something, she could have chosen to text me telling me that she didn't get the photo and if I could resend it or say nothing.
Next weekend is SD's birthday and we have to go and I don't know how to act with her. I don't believe that she didn't get any of my messages 3 times (there are another message a while ago), it's too much for a coincidence coming from a woman who used to answer my rare messages and who tries hard to be nice when she wants.