I get on with dps ex...is that weird?

[malificent7]

I don't approve of the way dps ex treated him but we do get on well.
She has never bad mouthed me and has been quite accepting apart from a wobblle when I first got with him. She didn't kick off but she felt sad( she was with her lover so couldn't grumble really.)
I've been in her house and she comes in mine. I don't think the boundaries are too bad but have risen above it for the kids.
There were boundary issues at first but I think things are much better now.

I think that sounds great. I'd love the chance to have that kind of easy-going friendship with my ex's new wife, or my second DH's ex girlfriend. But neither of them will even speak to me and I honestly 100% don't know why.

I find my DH's ex a bit offhand and rude tbh (though to be fair, DH insists she's like that with everyone!) But i get on very well with her new bloke who's a really easy going pleasant guy. DH even finds him easy to get on with despite him having been the cause of their split! Just depends on personalities and whether people get hung up on having been wronged in the past really.

Are you sure she is genuine? Friends close, enemies closer and all that....

I get on very well with dp's ex , now he's ex dp we get on even better ! Our children are brothers and we text eachother mainly about the kids but sometimes other stuff !

Good if it works for you.

My DH ex is a deeply unpleasant human being and hell will freeze over before we’re friends. I’ve got wonderful friends. She’s never going to be one of them.

But when people can get along that’s obviously lovely. My own DM and SM get along famously. We spend christmasses and birthdays all together, they’re both incredible grannies to my DSC and they both appreciate the other putting up with my dad - who we all adore but can be an awkward sod.

Different set ups work for different people. That’s just life.

It’s good that there is no animosity. Very good.

However I would keep up those boundaries!

I ‘got on’ with DPs Ex for 3 years. Looked after her niece once. Except there were serious boundary issues, and she didn’t treat DP all that well. Those are warning signs!

Why wierd? It might seem so here because only SMs who have issues post but in real life, there are many situations like yours. I know more recomposéed families where all get along well than families in conflict.

I will be slightly on guard as I know what she's capable of but didn't mean I have to be a coqbag. I think it's a case of keep your enemies close on both sides tbh!

A good few years after divorce, I have more contact with my ex’s ex girlfriend than him. We are so similar it was impossible not to be friends (we met without realising she was seeing my ex).

I get along well with most my exes and their wives/partners. But it would be crazy to think it is just a credit to me. If we managed that level of civility it is owed to all of us. I don’t get along well with my ex’s partner even if I was as nice to her as any other ex. She simply thought that any sort of communication between us was entirely inappropriate, so both her and my ex have been pretending DS and I are dead for as long as they have been together.

Someway I think this is a blessing in disguise...

I used to get on with my P's ex wife #1, she considered herself as his family and his best friend, so she made efforts to be nice with me. But when I got pregnant, she allowed herself to tell kids about my pregnancy before us (shouldn't have trusted her) and criticise me to my P because I was planning to give birth with a midwife (for the 2nd time mind you). I think it was to just get validation from P because he told her off for telling the kids. I told her that I didn't like it and hell broke off. She called my P crying that I called her ex, wanting to know if she was his family, told me that because she was family and a nurse, she knows better than me and that she will take her distances from me so that I don't feel respected. Of course, she wanted to continue a close relationship with P despite me and I didn't take it well. I have no problem with exes if I'm included, otherwise a close relationship with my P beyond the kids, is inappropriate for me. And as I see, many women feel like that.
Unfortunately, she gave all the details of our fight to her sons which affected my relationship with one of them, so I finally decided to make peace with her. But I don't care about her anymore, I do it to "use" her as a taxi when I want to invite my SSs because otherwise it's my P who goes to her place to see them and socialise with her at the same time.
Better keep them close....

I think it's lovely. Me and my ex husband and the girl he went off with use to be awful to each other and it was never productive. To the point my son made himself ill at one point as he didn't like going to his dads at the time and because we couldn't talk to each other it got to the doctors referring it tonsocial services to sort my ex out. Anyways I decided to be the bigger person and we sat down and had a meeting. We now meet every few weeks to update on our son, Facebook friends, have a coffee etc. Yesterday our son decided to cut his head open 20 minutes before his day with dad. So it ended up that all 3 of us went to the hospital together. They bought me coffee and my son was happy he wanted each of us at different stages. And afterwards he thanked us all for going. I really feel for the kids sake it's amazing to get on. Stops them being stuck in the middle.

I then on the other hand had a awful relationship with my ex partners ex wife and whenever I asked if we could all meet for the kids and come up with atraitgies etc she just laughed and said it would never happen because I was the reason he never left his job two hours away to go back and live In their home town.

Her relationship with your DP doesn’t need to have anything to do with you. You can rise above it but I don’t think you have by the backhanded comments you’re making. If he has kids they will probably cotton onto that fairly quickly.

I used to have a good relationship with H exW, she used to tell SS to come to me with any problems and called me to help her deal with SS behaviour a few times but it went sour after about 3 years. She passed a few comments about thinking she'd get back with my H after she left him (said to me, I met him years after they split). This meant nothing to me as no one goes into a marriage thinking of divorce but she then got in to an argument with my H and said awful things about me to hurt him. I pulled her on this but she was like a dog with a bone, in for a penny and all that so now I have no time for her. Shame really as we cannot do the extended family things for SS that we used to which upsets him but after the vile she spewed about my DD she's getting nowhere near. Good luck to you x

All I can say is approach with caution .... used to be great friends with DSS's mum. Tried to be the bigger person through all the abuse and snide comments. Hosted her for Christmas, celebrated milestones together etc.
Let's just say the straw broke the camels back this week and I've had to block her. Honestly if I never saw her again it would be too soon. Good luck op x

I get on really well with my ex’s new wife. She’s a lovely woman and I’m glad he picked her to be stepmum to our children.
I realise we’re very lucky, but it just works.

I like my dps ex but she's very over dramatic and she's very manipulative over money at times and takes the piss with DPs good nature.

Shes a very good mum but a pain in the arse at times