I shall start by setting the scene. I have been with my OH for 2.5yrs now. He has a 12 year old son who I adore and from day one has been so accepting of me and has been keen for daddy to have a new girlfriend. Everything perfect.
Fast forward to now... a lot of changes have happened which is a lot to take in for a 12 year old. He's moved to secondary school, the boys have moved in with me (I had a bigger house), we got a new puppy, his dad changed jobs to one with more stable hours but longer hours (we have DSS every weekend and sometimes he wants to come during the week if we can arrange a late start at work to get him to school) we lost a pregnancy which he knew about at the beginning of the year, we're now pregnant again and due in December. DSS is excited that he has a brother on the way.... however....
The last 6 months or so he has started to become incredibly rude and disrespectful towards me. Every time he comes round there's fights and tantrums. Now that he's a little older we've started to introduce some rules and restrictions (to the Xbox) but I'd say it's pretty relaxed. Obviously most kids start the 'tweenage' years and everything becomes a little harder but I'm really struggling. I've tried to step back from implementing discipline as he doesn't seem to take it too well. My OH is a great dad and wants to do anything he can but it's really upsetting us all at the mo.
If he's rude, and someone pulls him up on it, he calls his mum and exaggerates what's happened and last weekend he got himself so wound up his mum came to pick him up at like 11pm, all because he's been rude to me and I'd told him to watch his tone. It then leads to the ex calling my OH and giving him an earful on how horrible and mean I am to her son etc. This is massively upsetting for me as I love their son and see him as my own. I've given him everything I can and I'm not sure how to make it better.
I'd love some advice because at 7 months pregnant I'd love a resolution or at least a plan. Because I don't want him alienating himself from me or us, because I'd love him to be super involved with his baby brother.
We've tried talking to him, my OH has tried talking to him, his mum and his dad have tried to sit down and set rules for both houses etc. But nothing seems to help. I'm desperate to get my little buddy back on side and I'm prepared to try anything. I don't want to start stepping back from the boys as it's going to be detrimental in the long run but I can't be this stressed at 7 months pregnant.
Thanks