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Step-parenting

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Surprise children?!

29 replies

MrsSmiththethird · 19/09/2018 12:59

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes .. long time lurker so feel I should also include the mandatory ‘the daily mail are to leave this post alone and if they wish to publish it, it’ll be at a cost of £34,687,654 paid in pound coins’

I’ve been married to DH for 2 years, together for 6 years before that and have a DS. Today he has received a letter in the post from a solicitor, stating that he could potentially have 10 year old twins and would he be willing to take a DNA test to confirm. It would appear that someone he was seeing before we met has had twins and not told him - he swears blind they used condoms throughout their relationship, he re-calls one incident where it split but she was on the pill and took the morning after pill just incase.

He’s contacted the solicitor straight away to say he’ll take the DNA test but then what? The letter goes into brief details about how she raised them alone assuming he wanted no contact as they were no longer together and she’d moved across country but now they were pushing about who their father was, she felt she should get in contact.

I feel like I’ve woken up in Coronation street today!

OP posts:
HollyGoLoudly1 · 19/09/2018 21:08

Those are pretty understandable feelings OP. Just take things one step at a time - there's nothing to be done right now until the DNA test is sorted. So sorry for you and your family Flowers

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 19/09/2018 21:13

I'd be really upset and so, so angry with her. Nothing can give your dh those 10 years back with his children (if they do turn out to be his). I hope she takes full responsibility to the kids for why they've not had a dad.

Your dh is doing everything right, by taking the test and checking his position with cms. You both must be reeling though.

someonekillbabyshark · 19/09/2018 22:21

Sounds like she's doing everything right to me, if she knew there was a chance they were not his children I'm guessing she wouldn't suggest a DNA but if she's sure they are she's nipped the question in the bud before it's even been asked ? At the end of the day, not to sound rude or trying to be hurtful but you really don't know what your DH was like 10 years ago and maybe she didn't think he would be interested because he was young and care free ? Maybe they ended things in bad terms? Maybe they actually didn't used a condom the odd time and she was ' suppose' to get the morning after pill and didn't??? Maybe she wanted a baby, used him because she didn't want a 'baby daddy' but now her kids are asking questions Hmm so many 'maybes' but you will never know because she will probably never tell you. I don't believe for one second though ' oh I thought you wouldn't want to know' surely you would just tell the person oh I don't know just in case ??

Neweternal · 20/09/2018 10:16

Just one point. Nowadays there is no such thing as illegitimate and so if these children are his and anything happens to DH they would be entitled to be looked after in death. In England unlike Scotland you can disinherit but minors are an exception and as far as I'm aware you cannot disinherit children. This might be a grey area are they are not dependants financially but I would see how things stand for you all. It's very true children need to know where they come from and this is not the children's fault.

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