How do you handle it when your sd hates you.

[easylover]

I have 2 dsd's s dd and a ds of my own. I'm close to my own children and I get in pretty well with my oldest sd, but the younger one hates me, she doesn't know why, she was fine with me till the last year maybe. I've been in their lives for 6 years now and she turns 13 in a few weeks.

I'm really struggling with it as she lives here half the time. I cook her her favourite meals, cos she's very fussy, I do all the usual mum things like her washing, pick her up from school as she hates walking, I take her out treat her the same as all the others but I just get shouted at I hate you, bitch, everyone else helps tidy up after tea, not her she will just shout at me or be rude! I'm sick of it, my dh her (dad) tells her off even her mum is fed up of her behaviour but I still feel awful.

I don't know how to be with her, I've tried kind but firm. I've tried just ignoring her, I've tied talking we've all tried to communicate with her but nothing works for very long. She says she can't help not liking me, that's fair enough but I'm not a robot and I have feelings. I understand I'm the adult so I have to rise above it but I find that hard too.

Anyone been in a similar situation I don't know how to be with her or how to handle it.

Just picked up on her not coming down to dinner and eating junk food. This is a common behaviour from introvertedteenagers who feel awkward. My Ds hates family dinners how they make them n feel he doesn't belong. He finds it hard to mix in the conversations and it only reinforces his feelings of exclusion.

He too eats junk food because they make them feel good. I had no idea he felt awkward during meal times until he opened up to me.

You should feel you can say something to your dad but only if you are prepared to also listen to her, not just hear her but listen, and also be especially nice to her at other times, nice in what she would consider nice herself.

She probably does swing and I'd be very happy to listen but she doesn't talk to anyone not her mum or dad or sister no one! When she does come down she seems to enjoy being with everyone. I just don't know 🤷‍♀️

Tell her that, until she can speak civilly to you, then she can’t speak to you at all. When she’s ready to be civil, then you’ll speak to her.....until then just ghost her!

Well we all went away to Alton Towers for the weekend, she wasn't rude or stroppy towards me, she didn't really speak to me but that's fine. The thing is little things do get to me though. Like after swimming we were all in the showers, she was waiting and I had finished so I said, here you are take this one before someone else does. No thanks she said and then when the person next to me went she took that, just stupid silly little things like that. The little things get to you eventually pathetic as it sounds 🙄

It's hormones. My SD is the same age and has done exactly the same u turn. I now represent everything that is wrong with womanhood in her opinion.

I know cold, it's just the way she is atm, I do get it well sometimes but it's still hard, harder when they are not your own too!