Am I overreacting?

[Justatoe2]

Partners son (age 26 lives away from home with his GF) has been messaging my daughter (17 lives at home) inappropriately.
Along with the fact that he is racist, a snob, homophobic etc etc I have arranged to be away when he next visits. My partner doesn’t seem to wish to call him on any of his behaviour...I really think he should..but he thinks it will blow over.
I don’t want it to ‘blow over’ : he put my daughter in a difficult position What would you do?

What did he say? Hard to comment any advise otherwise

I’d be asking him why it is OK for his son to send texts like that to any woman or girl, and telling him that, if he doesn’t sort it properly, I will.

Inappropriately could be a spectrum of things. What did he say to her?

A bit more info is needed about what he is sending.

Reference to casual sex, calling her babe etc. Not overtly sexual but inappropriate IMO, especially as he has a serious GF and they are (almost) related.
I know that kids text far more explicit stuff, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

My first question would be, how does your DD feel about it? Because the answer to that would depend on the answer to yours iyswim?

Although your update does make him sound like a right creep! Not that the OP made him sound a prince among men .

DD felt uncomfortable at the time as she thought it was ‘weird’ but no longer bothered as I said it was fine to block him.

Then I’d make a stand, since he won’t address it with his creepy son. I’d also screenshot and show the son's GF.

It’s inappropriate, you’re right, absolutely, but the fact she’s uncomfortable and your partner won’t do anything about it is quite worrying. He’s minimising some really awful behaviour.

What the mention of casual sex meaning with your DD or casual sex he’s had/wants to have with someone else?

Your DD should block him. NC is the absolute best way
Have her send you screen shots of his messages
Send an example to him and tell him you want this to stop NOW
If he objects then send the screen shots to his GF.

DD is your DD. If your DH won't protect her from his DS then you must.

Yes I would be annoyed but my DD at 17 is quite capable of telling anyone to behave if she felt uncomfortable.

Annie it was a creepy dropping it into conversation

oracle yes she is too: it made her uncomfortable as she sees him as family.

100% agree with GuessTheFruit and YeTalkShiteHen

Personally I'd want to rip his head off, and not the one attached to his shoulders either.

I’m still confused whether he was meaning them having casual sex, or whether he was just mentioning it with regard to him & others. There’s a bit difference, though given his age, either way it’s inappropriate.

IF it was with HER then I’d be leaving your partner without a second thought and I’d be telling his son if he contacts my DD again I’d be going to the police. And actually, given your partners attitude I’d leave him anyway. A man finding that acceptable from his son, to his (effectively) step sister, especially when she’s only 17, is disgusting and I’d want nothing more to do with either of them.