This is the situation: I've been with dh for 10 years, have 3 dcs of my own, he has 3 too. Live with two of his plus my 3.
His dcs came to live with us after his exw went downhill completely, alcohol abuse, violence, gambling, all in all not a good environment so we had the dcs. It was hard but settled quickly.
When they lived with their mum they had no encouragement to go to school, missed 12 weeks in one year, that's added to usual school holidays, so a lot!
Since they lived here they blossomed and have done well overall. Sdd has gone to sixth form to do Alevels. Sds in college to do a diploma.
Sdd stays at her mums every weekend, she has a job and asks dh to take her there, he provides all transport as exw doesn't drive. She also has never paid any maintenance, however she buys clothes and makeup for her kids.
My issue is that when dh says no to lifts, sds gets very very nasty, very defensive of her mum, cannot see how it's more fair to share bus fares, taxi costs etc.
I feel maybe she could move back to her mum's, the atmosphere in my house lately isn't nice, my dd shares a room with her and it's becoming awkward. Sdd has a toxic nature towards her dad, can be horrible but only when he says no to a request. I know this is normal to a point but I feel like saying she can move back if she thinks it would be better.
The reason I don't is because I think it would be the end of the relationship we have with her, it's teetering on the edge.
I will say however, she and I never have cross words. She only does it to dh.