Wills and step children

[MismatchedStripySocks]

Please don’t judge. Genuine opinions needed please.

We will be drawing up our will soon. DH has two children, I have one. Originally, the plan was a three way split. However, the more I think about it, the more I think it’s unfair on my son. If i’d had 2 kids, it would have been a 4 way split. However, just because I only have 1, my 50% is diluted if you see what I mean. DSS and DSD are likely to inherit from other people but I genuinely think DS May only inherit from me.

What do you think? Is anyone else having a similar predicament ?

Honestly if your spouse gets everything in the event of your death there is no guarantee that your DC will get anything I've seen it so often!

Spouse remarries, and the new spurs DC get it all, Spouse changes will do it all goes to their own DC only.

50/50 is the fairest way.

We have 5 kids between us, 3 step kids, 1 ours, 1 mine. It would seriously diminish my child’s inheritance to split 5 ways. And each step kid also receives inheritance from their other parent, so our combined child also has a fairer split this way.

However my DP doesn’t agree! So we are left in a non cooperative situation,which isn’t as good as thinking it through. We are splitting up anyway!

There are some really interesting ideas here, I thought I would get flamed. I like the idea of our house being put in trust when one of us passes. I guess that could also reduce taxes if we survive 7 years more?

Kids are all under 16.

We have four between us, one is mine, the other three are his. We've been together 20 years, married for 18. Our wills specify an equal four way split. My son is completely on board with that, it would feel spectacularly unfair to do it any other way.

Kids are all under 16.

then if you have wills leaving everything to each other, neither of you are making proper provision for your children and you are leaving them in a very vulnerable position.

we have 6 between us. 4 are mine, 2 his. Our wills mirror each others. We both inherit directly, no caveats or provisos. Then it's all split equally 6 ways.

They're all our children.

Please don't leave mirror Wills,where you are reliant on your partner to do the honourable thing. My partner's father and stepmother did that. They're both lovely, honourable people.

Sadly his father died 2 years ago. SM, it turns out, wasn't so nice. She sold his house (was rented out), kept the money and refused to discuss. I'll be amazed if he sees a penny. Her children, on the other hand, have already had a fair amount.

No one would have predicted it would end like this.

The more I think about it, the more i’m realising the pitfalls. I hadn’t even considered what would happen If (for example) I died young and he remarried. If his new wife outlived him then NONE of our three may get anything if we don’t really spell it out. I guess I hadn’t considered all the in’s and outs. Just had no experience before now.

I really wouldn’t have mirror wills in your case. My solicitor said not recommended for second marriages. The circumstances of whoever dies first could change radically, remarriage, new children, new stepchildren. So sort out what you each want to happen for you respective kids and have a trust or other arrangement to make sure the surviving spouse is left with sufficient to live on and bring up kids.

I’m really glad I asked now as this has given me lots of things to look into that I had never heard of. I particularly don’t want DS to be shafted but want DSS and DSD to have their fair share too, whatever happens.

Please do discuss the pros/cons of a common tragedy clause with your solicitor if you are making some changes. It's already complicated with second marriages and trusts for children of different parents. In some cases it's possible to change a will after someone has died from mirror but when one child would benefit and others wouldn't these things split families whilst grieving.

I'm in a vaguely similar position.
DP has 2 adult DCs - one who refuses to work. His mother states that he's 'a sensitive soul, and not suitable for the 'rat race'. She's spent many substantial inheritances on far flung holidays etc. No actual wealth or property on his DM's side.

I have 3 children. Due to divorce, I need to rewrite my will.
I have actually asked his workshy DC whether the mother's view is true, in which case he would be offended by being included in the will.
I've lived relatively frugally, and potentially any inheritance could be extremely significant. To be honest, I'll be more sensible than splitting 5 ways, but I'll be interested in his response!

Definitely put things in trust for your DC. Even if your H was honourable, if you died first and he remarried, the marriage would automatically make his existing will null and void. Then if something happened to him before he got round to drawing up a new will his new wife would get everything. Massive risk.

I’d suggest life interest in the house to each other with everything else (including the house after death) split equally between the children.

I guess it depends on whether you see money or the sibling relationship as more important to your child but leaving unequal amounts risks irreparable damage to their relationship after your death (and at a time they’ll need sibling support most).