Overpowering "Step Nan" ruining our efforts with new baby

[Italianshark]

Hi - So my issue is pretty complicated so sorry if it's hard to follow. I have been with my partner for over 2 years, I am 29 weeks pregnant and he has a DS who is 5 - who has openly expressed (mainly recently) that he loves me. Our family situation is great. Get on with his ex, no issues with anything there.

With the impending baby, we have let it all come at his own pace which has really worked - he is asking to buy stuff for his sister, he is telling us he can't wait to meet her. We haven't wanted to ram it down his throat or "go on" about her arrival. However, my partner's dads wife is a twat. DSS doesn't warm to her and we cringe at her forced love on him (she has known him 3.5 years).

We pop round there on our weekends with DSS but the last time we did, she kept badgering him about the baby, making him feel awkward and even STUPIDLY said to him "we will need to throw some of your toys out soon to make room for your sisters". My partner noticed none of this and is aware, and has said he will tell her to not go on about the baby so much when he is there, but am i being unreasonable to fear going round there this coming weekend?

Shes very overpowering, I usually say what I feel but don't want to offend my partners Dad, I just dread her undoing all this amazing effort we have built with DSS, by her saying comments like that, and I fear my DSS will begin to resent the baby.

How would you deal with it?

i'd ask DP to have a word with his Dad.

Say exactly that, that you have worked hard to make this as easy for DS as possible and that her comments could make him resent the baby. If you try and skirt round it she might keep doing it.

And if you hear her say something like that again, challenge it publicly.
"Don't worry, DSS grandma's just being silly, of course you'd never have to get rid of your toys, there's plenty of space for everyone and all their toys". Where both of them can hear it.