I am a SM to one beautiful DSD and have my own DS from a previous relationship too. My DH is a relaxed type of hands-off kind of person which is usually wonderful but we have had major issues about his DSD, his ex and his family. His mother is extremely overbearing, cold and bossy, his dad is a bit simple and sits there just smiling or playing the piano (probably to cope with her). DH’s sister and I have fallen out for many reasons: She turned our wedding (at which she was bridesmaid) into a whole flipping show about her by, for example, coming to dress fittings with me only if she got to go out with an old-flame afterwards (she lives in another city, her flame lived in our city) that she was trying to get back into her life (even though she was still married to someone else), asking us to invite this old flame to the wedding (who I had never met) and then not introducing him to me on the day when we did, dominating all the dress and style choices for me and the other bridesmaids (I was so determined not to be bridezilla I just tried to ignore her) and telling everyone about what she was wearing and how this was a wonderful chance for her to look good etc etc, posting all our wedding pics on FB before the day was over etc (she’s a top psychologist and couldn’t see what the problem was even when she accidentally referred to it as ‘her’ wedding day afterwards (!)) – She then held her significant years birthday party in the city where we live rather than the few hundred miles away where she lives, picked exactly the same restaurant as I had picked for my hen do, and asked my DH (who she hadn’t really spent much time with before I came along) to play our wedding music at it. Anyhow, she has now divorced and met a new guy with two stepkids. We are all supposed to be meeting up for DH’s dad’s 80th birthday do, but I am having panic attacks and dreading it. I do not want to spend more than a polite evening smiling through my teeth, putting up with the domineering nature’s of my DH’s mother and sister (and I already do this happily, sorta, for Christmas etc), but the ‘do’ is to be 3 nights and days at an activity park, having dinner with them every night and doing ‘fun things’ in the day. DH’s parents are paying for it, which is super kind and I feel bad about my feelings. I also don’t want to not go in case my DS gets left out and ignored by the family as he is often overlooked in favour of the DSD (which is their natural Darling Grandaughter, by blood). As my hub is so relaxed I stress that if I go I will end up storming off and causing a scene as I won’t be able to hold my tongue but if I don’t go I worry my DS won’t have such a good time and it will also look like a slight to the rest of the family which I don’t mean it to, I just don’teant to go and be so stressed!
I also want to be a ‘dutiful’ wife (haha) and ‘do the right thing’ because I love my DH, DS and DSD but the rest of his family bring me out in hives… should I suck it up and go or make my apologies. DH says he honestly doesn’t mind if I don’t go and agrees his family, esp his sister and mother are a pain the A…. what would you do please?