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Step-parenting

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Step son

9 replies

Groovychick1971 · 13/08/2018 18:32

I have been with this guy since November 2016 ,he as 4 children 3 live else were ex wife 2 own place .1 near 17 year old [ oct ] lives with him .we got married july 2018 .from the start this lad as had run of the house did what ever he wanted . is nana as said stuff about me to him to cause trouble .she as been in a mental ward 3 years before let out .is nana as spoiled him rotten he as got away with lots stuff lot as been covered up she makes ecuses up for this lad cart do no wrong . .dont know full story but was told he said is brother had abused him dont beleave a word of it . When he was about 10 and this 16 year old .lad as been to police station over abusing is sister when was little social services as said he needs supvising wirh children at all times .not sure what happened with this .he is nothing but compulsive lier ,plays victim all the time says hes had brain trainsplaint to is friends .he as only got 2 friends .very much a loner ,ive tried to get on with him .bought him head phones for play station took him to mcdonlds , Nothing works .he is also very mulipulting .very sniddy i am due to move in end aug and im bring my 2 dogs tiny chihuahuas ,he as put toe nails in there food and toast crumps in there water .made them ill .i have rung the police and Pdsa .they done nothing .i go in bath .i can hear him outside bathroom door .he sneaks up at back me when im sat there .he seems to get kick out of things .i also have a cat .brought cat up to get used to husbands cat and he kept hold its foot with hes foot so it struggled to let go .hes horrible .i really do not like him at all .i dont trust him at all .my husband as had cameras put in house as i just dont feel safe with him .been to doctors and told my doctor and husbands doctor ,they both have said throw him out .im really depressed and having panic attacks .the nana doesnt come to house no more as husband as stopped it she is very controlling .this step son wants to control everything he seems as if he wants power over everyone and just about everything .we got married july he brought his compator books to wedding ,i removed them as it was are wedding .he as to be centre of attention and he as to get what he wants .my Husband as locks on most doors in house s he pinches stuff .he also as a temper .i wouldnt trust him with any of my grandchildren he also as big thing about porn watching it for 6.7 hours each time .we have removed everything from him dueto his behaviour ,so he as no phone .no games nothing at all . Cart go on hoilday as he cart be trusted not even had honey moon .Seriously dont know what to do .feel really unhappy husband as said see what hes like at collage see if he changes .soon as I see him i have panic attacks ,sorry its long .any help or advice thank you done lot more bit I'd be here all day

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AnneLovesGilbert · 13/08/2018 18:37

Your post is very difficult to read. I think I get your gist and if you’re having panic attacks from seeing him and your husband isn’t doing anything about his behaviour then you can’t move in.

I’m afraid I wouldn’t have married someone whose child, especially resident child, I felt that way towards but too late now....

MycatsaPirate · 13/08/2018 18:37

Please don't move in with him! Don't do it, don't take your pets there and don't ever be there alone with him.

If you hadn't already married then I'd say don't do it. The whole family sound like a headache with police and social service involvement, something you could really do without.

Tell your husband you won't be moving in.

Blendingrock · 14/08/2018 03:59

I agree with the others. Please don't move in. You step-son sounds quite sadistic and the situation is only going to get worse. Your instincts are telling you to run away and frankly, I think you should listen to them.

Groovychick1971 · 14/08/2018 08:05

Thank you for the comments. I married him as I love him he's nothing like is son .didn't see is son was like that from start .i totally agree with the sadistic bit .I feel like that .just wanted someone to say it other than me .It's the son who as been in trouble with police and social services .not the dad .I would have is son out the house full stop .He really needs to go .but is dad said he's hoping he will change when he goes to collage .I know he's not going to .I think he will just carry on

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Groovychick1971 · 14/08/2018 08:57

I've spoken to my husband he's trying to find some we're for him to live .I'm not living in fear

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w4ytoomuch · 14/08/2018 09:45

Good idea. You don't have to move in yet. You're married so in it for the long haul. Let husband know you won't be moving in while step son lives there the. Just wait it out.

Good luck

lunar1 · 14/08/2018 10:14

Just don't move in. There is always the chance he will come back. No matter what he is his dads son, he may always feel responsible and put a roof over his head if needed. Your life is too short to live like that

MycatsaPirate · 14/08/2018 15:15

He needs to be made homeless by his dad and then leave it up to the social services or council to deal with.

He clearly has a lot of issues and sitting back and just doing nothing like his dad is doing, just hoping for change, is not going to work. Either he needs comprehensive help now which means his dad actively pushing for some sort of therapy or sit back and wait for the inevitable. Arrest, prison etc.

But you are no part of this. He is not your son and although you are married to his dad, this lad is not a product of your life at all.

Groovychick1971 · 14/08/2018 19:01

Is dad is finding him some where .if he comes back I go .my husband will only get one chance with me .I don't think anything would help this lad like 2 doctors have said he's doing it for is own kicks

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